Detonate
by ICarryYourHeart16
Summary: Takes place right after the "to be continued..." They've been compromised, their lives hang in the balance, and only their team can save them. Team fic 4x24 post episode fic. **Chapter 7 up** DENSI, hints of Neric, Sam/Callen (bromance)
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Takes place right after the "to be continued..." They've been compromised, their lives hang in the balance, and only their team can save them. Team fic with heavy Densi focus. 4x24

"Michelle!" Kensi yelled again, frantically scanning the building for any sign of Sam's wife. She heard the scream, faint and muffled by the wind. Kensi took in the broken boards by the window and her stomach dropped. Michelle yelled again and Kensi raced to the window. Bullets pinged off the metal and she felt the hot burn as it grazed the side of her head. Kensi dove behind a pallet of boxes and prayed Michelle would have the strength to hold on. She held her breath to listen for the sound of footsteps but the wind was snapping the plastic draping and muffling any sound. She stood and fired off three rounds, hitting one of the girls in the arm. There was a scream of pain and Kensi rolled out from behind her cover and ran towards the two. Michelle didn't have the luxury of time, she needed to take the girls out now. Bullets flew and she darted behind a wall.

She didn't wait for them to empty their rounds this time and rolled out, taking out a girl from her prone position on the floor. Blood and sweat ran into her eyes but she pumped her legs up and raced to the spot where the other girl lay. She tackled her to the ground and knocked the butt of her gun against her temple. The blonde went limp and she zip tied her hands and feet together before kicking both guns across the room and racing back to Michelle. There was another scream and Kensi reached the window just as Michelle's grip on the plastic sheeting slipped. For one heart-stopping moment she thought she was going to watch Sam's wife plummet to her death.

"Kensi, I can't hold it much longer." Michelle said, her eyes full of fear. Kensi grabbed the sheeting Michelle held onto and pulled. It took great strength to pull someone up from below you, but she managed to lift Michelle a few inches by bracing her legs against the window beams. Kensi grunted with the effort as sweat ran down her face. Michelle was inches from the ledge when the beam Kensi was pushing against snapped, sending them both sliding to the edge. Michelle's lost her grip and she grappled desperately for purchase but her hands were damp from sweat and she was slipping slowly to the end of the plastic. Kensi prayed the beam would hold and lunged forward, grabbing Michelle's hand. They were stuck, as strong as she was there was no way Kensi had the strength in one arm to pull a full grown woman up to the ledge.

"Kensi, swing me over to the wall! There's a lip I think I can get it!" Michelle yelled over the blowing wind.

Kensi looked at the wall and prayed that Michelle was right. She strained but managed to scoot closer to the wall. Michelle kicked her legs out to move herself into a slight swing and Kensi tried not to scream at the pain in her shoulder joint. There was an immediate release of weight and Kensi let out a relieved breath as Michelle's feet were planted firmly on the ledge. Michelle wiped one damp palm against her thigh and grabbed onto the edge of the window. Kensi adjusted her grip to grab Michelle's forearm and with the combined effort of Kensi pulling and Michelle pushing up against the ledge they were able to lift her up and into the building. Michelle lay on her back, breathing heavily.

"Thank you." She said between breaths. Kensi nodded but her brow was creased. If they made Michelle, then they most definitely made Sam, and Deeks had his back, which meant more than likely he could be in danger too.

"Hetty, they made Michelle, it's more than likely they made Sam too."

There was silence and Kensi met Michelle's eyes as fear began to take root.

"Hetty?"

"We have lost contact with Mr. Hanna and Mr. Deeks. Regroup as soon as possible."

She felt ice cold with fear but she scrambled up and turned to Michelle.

"Help me grab the Russian girl, she may be our only chance."

They ran across the floor and hefted up the still unconscious girl and headed for the elevator.

"I've got a body and one of the Russian girls alive. You're gonna need to send out a car for the other one, we're bringing the girl to the boatshed."

The elevator seemed to go impossibly slow. Fear clogged her thoughts and she knew if she let it consume her she would lose it. All she could think of was an unexpected kiss, and how she might never get the chance to let him know she felt the same. After what felt like an eternity the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. They rushed to Michelle's car and shoved the girl into the backseat. Michelle gunned the engine and the tires squealed as she raced off. They were running against time.

* * *

He was burning from the inside out. Each breath seared his lungs. The points were his skin connected with the chair were white hot with pain, the skin already blistering. His breath wheezed loudly as he heard the scream from the next room. He had a clear view into the next room, the glass door didn't do much to muffle the sound. There was the high whine of a drill and more screaming. These men were professionals. They hadn't been able to crack him, so they went for the next one, the weaker one, as they said. It was one thing to torture a man, it was a whole other thing to torture someone in front of him. Especially if the man they were torturing had just tried to save his life.

They assumed they were partner's that they shared the deep bond that two people who faced danger on a daily basis together formed. Sam trembled as Deeks screamed again. The man in that room had risked his life for him without a second thought, despite the fact that he'd treated him like shit only hours before. Sam closed his eyes as guilt stung his throat. He thought of Michelle, their children, and the man who endured what no man should to protect all of that. The whining of the drill stopped and Sam realized there was no screaming. Dread filled his heart as the doors opened again and the men walked back in.

Sidorov shook his head and chuckled.

"Your partner is weak." He turned and gestured to Deeks who lay slumped to the side. Blood dripped from his mouth.

It was imperative not to show any weakness or feeling towards Deeks. Doing so would only result in worse pain for him.

"He's alive, maybe you tell us if Quinn is an agent now. Or we wake up your friend for an encore performance."

Sam said nothing, only stared past him.

"Or we kill him now, save ourselves the trouble."

Sam flinched slightly, but it was enough to make Sidorov take notice.

"You speak now and maybe I let him live."

Sam shrugged "He doesn't matter to me."

Sidorov chuckled and strolled to the machine, fingering the switches, another tactic.

"See, I think you're lying. What man would be foolish enough to risk his life for another if they didn't matter?"

Sam said nothing, only stared ahead stone faced at Deeks unmoving form.

"You are sweating, going into shock." He paused, laughed. "Shock, get it?"

He shook his head when Sam didn't reply.

"You don't get my joke? It's okay, I will explain it to you." Sidorov flicked a switch and sent another jolt of electricity into him. His body bowed up and every vein burned white hot.

Sam felt his head loll to the side and he struggled to keep it upright.

"It's always bad when they start to sweat." Sidorov said to his partner. "Water is such a good conductor."

His vision was blurring and Sam blinked rapidly to clear it. Sidirov's face suddenly loomed in front of him.

"You have one hour to decide whether your partner lives or dies. Then I'm coming back for you." The men left, leaving the door open between Sam and Deeks.

* * *

"Sidorov is going to kill your beloved partner."

Fury turned his vision red and Callen slammed Janvier against the post again. He punched him hard and Janvier crumpled to the floor. Callen heaved him up again.

"Tell me where he is or I kill you and I arrest your daughter!"

Janvier laughed as blood dribbled from his mouth.

"That is your mistake Agent Callen, I don't have a daughter." Janvier laughed again, buckling over as Callen delivered a hard blow to his gut.

"You can't save him Agent Callen," Janvier wheezed.

Grief tore through him and turned his vision red. He squeezed his fingers around Janvier's throat and watched as he gasped for breath. The first licks of fear entered his eyes and he struggled but Callen squeezed harder. Janvier gasped and gagged but he didn't let go..

Someone screamed his name and through the haze he felt himself being shoved away.

"We need him alive!" Michelle yelled. "Sidorov has Sam!"

Janvier was panting on the floor and now he looked up at Callen. He shook his head with a knowing smile and pushed himself up.

"I have nothing to lose Agent Callen, nothing you can take from me. But you have everything to lose. I am going to watch you lose them all, one by one, and I'm going to lau-"

Michelle delivered a hard blow to Janvier's head that had him slumping back down to the floor.

"I was getting real tired of the bad guy monologue." She said simply and she grabbed one of Janvier's arms to heft him up.

"Help me with him," she grunted and Callen gripped his other arm. They dragged Janvier into the interrogation room and dropped him so that he tumbled to the floor.

"Michelle," Callen waited until she looked up at him "We're going to get Sam back, I promise you."

Michelle nodded and lay a hand on his arm. Years of CIA training was all that kept her composure and he could see the fear and worry that swam into her eyes.

"I know," she said. "Kensi's in the car with one of Sidorov's girls, we think they have Deeks too."

"What?" his blood ran cold.

"We lost electronic communications with both of them, they had Sam in a pool, Deeks dived in after him to save him. That's the last they heard of them."

There was a click in Callen's ear as the com was activated.

"We've exhausted all avenues of tracking Agents Hanna and Deeks, Mr. Callen." Hetty's voice was grave. "It is imperative that we locate those weapons and get our agents home safely." There was a slight tremor in Hetty's voice on the last word and that alone scared Callen more than anything else could.

If Sidorov got away he and the nukes would be in the wind, and Sam and Deeks would be dead. Callen followed Michelle out to the car where Kensi stood with her gun pointed at one of the Russian girls. The girl's breath was harsh with pain and blood coated her shoulder where she must have been shot. Callen said nothing as he and Michelle hefted the girl out of the car and carried her bodily into the boatshed. She spit out a stream of vile Russian profanities and Callen shook his head.

"She's got a bit of a mouth on her," he said casually to Michelle as the carried the wiggling shouting woman "they always do in the beginning." He grinned, and Michelle laughed.

"I like her, she's got spunk. This is going to be fun."

The act was meant to intimidate, get the girl into the mindset that she wasn't dealing with normal agents.

"You know, it's been years since I had to dig a bullet out of anyone's arm, and it's too bad we're all out of pain meds. But you don't mind do you princess? I heard they breed them tough out in Russia." The girl was silent but she continued to thrash.

They wrestled her into an empty broom closet and Callen took a moment to smash the lightbulb so that when they closed the door she was plunged into darkness. It was another tactic. Intimidate, leave her by herself, cloak her in darkness in a small empty space. The less options for escape you left them, the more desperate they got. The girl was well trained, Sidorov wouldn't keep a girl around who would crack under pressure. It was more than possible that a few rules would have to be broken to get her to talk, Callen was ready to do just that.

Kensi was standing in the middle of the boatshed talking to Hetty on her com and when she turned around her face was ashen.

Callen clenched his jaw.

"What?"

"They don't know where they are." Was all she said, and her voice shook slightly. He was well aware of the simmering tension between her and Deeks and the deep bond they shared. It was built on trust, friendship, and he was sure, of love. The protectiveness he felt for Kensi was like that of older brother to younger sister, and he was certain he would never forgive himself if anything happened to Deeks. It would rip her apart, he'd lived a lifetime of loss, he would do anything to prevent Kensi from facing the same fate.

"Kensi," he laid a hand on her arm and she shook him off.

"Don't, don't look at me like that, like he's already dead. We're going to find him." Her eyes were moist but her expression was fierce.

"He's not dying, I won't let him."

"Good," he said "because we're about to cross a whole lot of lines to get Sam and Deeks back."

**A/N: This will be a multi-chapter fic. That is if I don't die while re-watching the finale again. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone for all the reviews, follows, and favorites! I enjoyed hearing from you and mutually freaking out over the finale. **

**Thank you to guest reviewers Nita, joyful, Angel, Ashley, Filipah, and other anonymous reviewers.**

**Now without further ado, Chapter 2**

* * *

"Oh look, he's awake." The heavy Russian accent cleared the fogginess from his brain as pain and adrenaline shot through his body. The left side of his jaw was hot and bright with pain. They'd left the metal mouth brace on. His lips were beginning to crack and blood and spit was running down his chin. Pain had been such a constant part of his childhood that he'd become almost tolerant of it, mind over matter. The loss of control, the fear, that wasn't so easy to deal with. His hands and feet were bound, limiting his movement. They'd even limited the use of his mouth. He was smart, he'd read up on all the different interrogation techniques that could be used to make even the most difficult suspect talk. Except there had been limits, even the worst mass murderer was allowed basic human rights.

These guys had no limits, no moral code. Pain as a psychological motivator to talk was one of the oldest devices known to man, but that could be overcome by someone who was strong willed. Taking away all control, leaving them at the mercy of their captors, seasoned soldiers could be broken in under a day. Add a healthy dose of fear to the mix and you had the perfect combination to get even the most tight-lipped victim to spill all his secrets.

"You don't want to talk? Come on, I thought we went through this already. You talk, I let you die in peace. You make me wait, we keep going." Sidorov looked to his man Mikhael who turned the drill on again.

Deeks winced despite himself. His heart raced, fear made his skin crawl. He tried to speak but the mouthpiece made his speech unintelligible.

"Hmmm?" Sidorov leaned closer.

Deeks gestured that he wanted to talk and Mikhael removed the mouthpiece. He spat out blood and looked at Mikhael.

"Where'd you get your degree in dentistry? Because you suck at it."

Sidorov's fist connected with his jaw and sent excruciating pain radiating up the side of his skull.

"I don't have time for this. Mikhael, remind our friend why we need him to tell us if it is safe to sell the weapons."

Mikhael grinned as he forced Deeks mouth open again. The pain was blinding, he drilled deep into his molar, right into the gum line. Blood poured into his mouth and throat, choking him. His vision grayed and he felt a wave of nausea rising up.

"Stop!" Sidorov's order was curt and Mikhael pulled the drill out of his mouth.

"Take that thing out."

Mikhael wrenched the brace out of his mouth and tipped him forward so that the blood could run out of his mouth.

"Is it safe to sell the weapons!"

Deeks didn't reply. He didn't think he would be afraid of dying, he'd always kind of thought he'd die the hero's death. But now that his life actually hung in the balance he was terrified. It shamed him. He had to keep his head. If he succumbed to the fear he risked losing his mind. He'd tell Sidorov everything just to end it all. He couldn't let himself do that. There was too much at stake. Sam, his wife, Kensi.

Distraction, that was the beauty of the mind. You could be stuck in the most horrific place but if you had your mind you could be anywhere. They couldn't take that from you. It was something he'd learned as a kid, when there had been dark rooms and the smell of stale alcohol. When familiar hands caused you pain that never quite left.

Sidorov grabbed his jaw and squeezed, making him cry out in pain.

"Is it safe to sell the weapons!"

Deeks spit in his face. Sidorov howled in rage and slammed his fist into his jaw.

"Get the other one!" He yelled at Mikhael who handed him a rag. Sidorov mopped at his face and shoved the doors open. Deeks could see Sam strapped to the chair, he'd had to watch him be electrocuted before.

Sidorov jerked up the levers and Sam's body bowed up involuntarily as the current surged through him. Mikhael grabbed Sidorov and shut off the machine.

"We kill them after, when they tell us everything." He looked at Deeks. "And they will tell us everything."

Sidorov was shaking with rage. He was losing control, it didn't bode well for either of their survival, but that only meant the torture ended faster. Deeks was starting to lose hope, it was dangerous to lose hope.

"We're going to try something new. I ask one of you a question, if you don't answer the other one feels your pain." Sidorov chuckled.

"But I am a gracious man, I will give you some time to think it over. I hope you return the favor by telling me what I need to know."

It wasn't a favor. Though it seemed like the momentary break would be a relief, it wasn't. That's when the mental torture set in. You never knew when they were coming back, what new pain you would experience. You had no control over what was going to happen to you. It was a terrifying state to be in.

Deeks looked over at Sam, they'd left the doors open between them.

He wanted to tell Sam he wouldn't give up his wife, that he'd die before he put her life in danger. But talking could reveal anything, and Sidorov was almost certainly listening. Sam was blinking erratically and for a moment Deeks thought he was having a seizure or some sort of adverse side effect from the electric shock. Sam's eyes were clear and focused on him. He blinked again, rapidly, then two long slow blinks followed by a pause, then three rapid blinks.

Recognition dawned, he was trying to communicate something to him in morse code. Damn it, his morse code was rusty at best. The only reason he had even learned it was because Kensi had started sending him vaguely dirty messages in morse code in an attempt to get him to learn it as a part of his agent training. He'd picked it up the first day, but he didn't let her in on that fact until three days later.

Deeks concentrated on Sam's face. Three quick blinks, S, one slow, T. Quick, long, then long, quick, long long, that was A and Y. Stay. Deeks focused on Sam's face as he spelled out the last word. Strong, stay strong. Deeks swallowed hard and nodded. They could risk no more communication. Leaving them alone together was a mistake on Sidorov's part. Or it could be a brilliant plan. They gained strength from each other, killing one of them now would be a brutal blow, and it could just break them. The chances were high that neither of them would live, but if he could somehow distract Sidorov with half truth's long enough, he might just be able to get Sam out.

Deeks had long ago come to the conclusion that if only one could live, it would be Sam. Sam had a family, he had two ridiculously cute kids. The vision of those two kids swam in his mind. They were great kids. The girl was like a small feminine version of Sam, very serious, it had taken him a while to draw a smile out of her, she had a beautiful smile. He didn't want that little girl to lose her daddy. The boy was only four, he had an infectious giggle and a boisterous spirit. Deeks couldn't let those kids grow up without a dad, not when he could take his place. Deeks thought of another girl he had to draw a smile out of. Kensi.

He closed his eyes as pain sliced his heart. If he'd known that in the space of twenty minutes he would have kissed Kensi and then gotten captured by Sidorov he would have never made the move. They'd been dancing around this thing of theirs for years, and as emotions became entangled, when just being partners wasn't enough anymore, frustration had built. He'd fantasized about kissing her so many times, when she was snuggled up against him while they were undercover, her closeness making his skin burn. But he hadn't crossed the line, somehow in the span of three years she had become the most important person in his life and he was too afraid to risk rejection. It was an ugly kind of irony to lose her when he had come so close to really having her.

Memories of their conversation in the boatshed resurfaced. She'd asked him not to die, her eyes had been wet with unshed tears. Even then he couldn't tell her that every teardrop ripped at his heart. He only hoped that she would be okay, that she would smile again. If he could find a way to get back to her he would, and he would fight for every last breath until they took it from him. He was tired, his body ached. Deeks let his eyelids drift closed again. He had to keep his mind sharp, focused, he was going to get Sam out of here. If he was lucky, they'd send someone back in time for him.

* * *

"Keep searching, I want facial scans on every traffic camera and surveillance camera in Los Angeles." Hetty paced the floor behind Eric and Nell. She'd called in every favor she had to get the aid of satellite surveillance. She'd given Eric clearance to do anything he had to, to find Sam and Deeks. Callen was at the boatshed with Sidorov and the Russian girl, Maya Yerzof. Kensi and Michelle were both with him, they hadn't had any success in getting them to talk.

Hetty watched the live feed coming from the boatshed. Janvier sat in the interrogation room handcuffed to the chair. Callen was talking with Kensi and Michelle, she assumed Maya was still in the closet. Emotions were running high, her team was fracturing. She watched as Callen broke away from the group and slammed into the interrogation room. His emotions were at a breaking point, she would keep a close watch on him, ensure that lines would not be crossed. If any lines needed to be crossed she would do it herself, to protect Callen, always to protect Callen. Her team was more than just a collection of some of NCIS's best agents, they were like children to her.

Hetty's attention shifted to Kensi. She worried about her, it was clear that her partner had become much more than a partner to her. The problem with Kensi was that twice already the men she loved dearly had left her, through death or choice. It hardened her, made her afraid to trust again. Deeks had a way with her, pushed and prodded until she opened up, trusted again. To lose him would mean the part of her that had started to bloom again would die off, maybe forever this time. Hetty felt tears burn at the back of her eyes. It wasn't good to think like Sam and Deeks were already gone. Even though the odds were stacked against them, there was always a way.

"How are we doing on our scan?"

"I did a system override to cut the facial recognition points in half, it will give us matches sooner but we'll have to manually dismiss anyone with very similar features."

"Good, Ms. Jones?"

Nell was a study in concentration.

"Still searching for the license plates, no matches yet."

The system blipped and they all held their breath as the face popped up. Even before Eric ran a secondary more precise facial scan Hetty knew it wasn't one of Sidorov's men. The system blipped again as Eric dismissed the facial capture. There was a somber air to the room, none of the usual chatter between the two technical analysts. Hetty resumed her pacing, it had been five hours since Sam and Deeks had been taken, five hours and they had come up with nothing.

* * *

She'd never been good at waiting, not when the stakes where so high. Kensi watched anxiously as Callen questioned Janvier. He wasn't going to talk, he was enjoying it too much, hadn't he said that he lived to watch Callen suffer? She feared for her partners life, for Sam's life. As soon as Sidorov realized the weapons trade was a setup there was a good chance he would kill them. Kensi felt her stomach sink with dread, losing Deeks was not an option, she couldn't face a world without Marty Deeks. He irritated the hell out of her sometimes, but he also made her laugh more than she had in years.

Her throat clogged and she dug her fingernails into the palm of her hands. This was not the time to fall apart, she had to step away from her fear and her worry and focus on the objective. Get the subject to relay the information they needed. She had to be cold, clinical, study the suspect, analyze for weakness. Kensi watched as Callen walked around the interrogation room. It was time they brought out the girl. She looked at Michelle who stared stone-faced at the video feed. How much worse was it, when it was your husband that faced death? When you feared that you may never see the father of your children again. Michelle turned and met Kensi's eyes, there was no trace of fear in them, only steely determination.

"He's not going to talk." She said.

Kensi nodded gravely and turned to face Callen when he walked out of the interrogation room.

"We should get the girl," she said.

"Yeah, see if you can get her to talk" Callen said, and Kensi noticed he avoided Michelle's gaze.

Michelle stood, her chair scraping back, and wrenched open the door. Maya had huddled into a corner and when Michelle stepped in to reach for her she kicked out her feet, striking Michelle in the shin and sending her tumbling into the wall. Maya lunged for Michelle, but Kensi hauled her back by her hair and threw her to the wall. Together she and Michelle forced the struggling girl into a chair, and Callen handcuffed her wrists behind her back. There were red marks on her feet and wrists where she'd tried unsuccessfully to escape her bonds.

"Where is Sidorov?" Callen asked.

Maya stared past him. Callen looked to Michelle who nodded. She stepped up to Maya and gave her a friendly smile.

"Hi there Maya, remember me? You tried to throw me off a building, that was fun. Let's get right down to business. Your boss has two of our men, we want them back. So you can tell me where he's holding them now, or I can persuade you. Let me tell you, option number one is a lot more pleasant.

There was no response. Michelle met Callen's eyes again and he gave her a slight nod. Michelle yanked Maya's hair back, forcing her to look up to her.

"I'm feeling generous Maya, you talk, we get you a plea deal, get you as far away from Sidorov as possible. But you better decide quickly because my patience is running thin."

"You traitor bitch!" Maya spat, and Michelle shoved her back in the chair and pressed a thumb to the bullet wound in Maya's arm. She screamed and Kensi's stomach turned.

She felt Callen's eyes on her and when she met his gaze he signaled for her to leave. They were teetering dangerously on the line between torture and forceful interrogation. Dealing with terrorists always allowed for the blurring of lines, but they had never crossed the line into torture. She struggled with conflicting emotions. On one hand she was so desperate to find her partner she was willing to do almost anything, but on the other hand, resorting to torture, denying basic human rights, that made them just like the terrorists . Kensi ignored Callen and watched Michelle. She sat casually on the edge of the table, and wiped Maya's blood from her hand.

"There now, that wasn't fun was it? Look you've got two options, spend the rest of your life in jail, or tell me where Sidorov is hiding and we get you a cushy deal and some painkillers for that shoulder of yours."

Maya stared at the floor but some of the color had leached out of her face. She was cracking.

There was a pop and a scratch as the coms in their ears activated.

"There is a possibility we may have found Sidorov. Facial recognition tagged two of his men outside a large warehouse. Mr. Beale is sending coordinates to your phones as I speak. Meet at headquarters to gear up." The com's popped as Hetty deactivated them again.

Kensi's heart was beating so hard she could barely hear, and she stood stunned while Callen and Michelle wrestled Maya back into the closet.

"Let's go," Callen said briskly and he stopped only to send the guards back into the boathouse.

* * *

He was starting to lose track of time. What felt like hours could be minutes, time stretched like a vast ocean in front of him, he was in an endless cycle of pain. Sam could feel himself becoming feverish, the body's natural response to fight the damage. He was going to die, and he could only hope that Michelle had gotten away safely.

There was a loud bang as Sidorov entered the room and immediately jolted Sam with another current.

"Whoops!" He said sarcastically before looming in front of Sam. "Time's up, tell me if it's safe to sell the weapons, or your partner dies."

"Hey!" Deeks yelled, the word barely decipherable through the metal brace.

Sidorov looked up in interest and signaled for Mikhael to remove the mouthpiece.

Sam felt fear clutch his heart, he didn't believe for one second that Deeks would sell out Michelle, but he feared what would happen if he toyed with Sidorov again. He knew what Deeks was doing, trying to distract Sidorov from him, trying to give him a small respite from the pain.

"I'll tell you everything, but you have to let my partner go."

Sam's head snapped up and he looked incredulously at Deeks. There was no way he was going to leave him behind. He tried to say no, but the only sound that came from his mouth was a wheeze too quiet to hear.

Sidorov cocked his head and strolled over to Deeks.

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"My name is Marty Deeks, LAPD, liaison to NCIS. That there's my partner Jacob. I can help you sneak those weapons out of the country, but first you let my partner go and send video proof that he's been safely handed over to the LAPD."

Sam jerked in the chair, trying to get Deeks' attention. He knew what Deeks was doing, there was a reason he had used his real name but still lied about Sam's name. He expected to die, so giving his real name wasn't going to put him in any jeopardy.

Sidorov pondered Deeks' proposition for a moment and then signaled for Mikhael to loosen Sam's bonds. He was desperate to distance himself from the weapons but still make a hefty profit and he was primed to take the bait. If he had the luxury of time he would have ignored Deeks' request, but desperation made him willing to take risks. Sidorov's mistake was in thinking Deeks was weak, that he would betray his country. That's where he was wrong, Deeks would lead him on a wild goose chase until Sidorov got fed up and ended his life. He would sacrifice his life to get Sam out. Sam thought of the soldier who had once sacrificed his life so that he could live, the action still haunted him to this day.

Mikhael lifted Sam from the chair and his knees buckled. It hurt to stand, to talk, but he tried to get Deeks' attention. Deeks ignored him.

A black sack was forced over his head and he was pushed forward. Sam tried to squint through the black fabric, it was thin enough to make out vague shapes, but not enough for him to figure out where he was going. They would make it impossible for him to come back for Deeks. There was a sudden commotion and Sam heard frantic conversation in low tones.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, get the other one, they're coming." Another arm gripped him and he was forced to walk faster, tripping over his own feet. He tried to fight back, but the electric current had overloaded his nervous system and his muscles ached from the multiple contractions. He heard grunts and the crack of knuckles on flesh, and felt himself being shoved into a small space. Someone was shoved on top of him and then he heard the slam of a door and the rumble of an engine that told him he was in a car.

* * *

The drive to the warehouse was taut with tension. Kensi sat in the back with Nell who'd been drafted into the rescue team, and Callen and Michelle sat in the front. She tried to mentally prepare herself for the worst. They had no idea what they were walking into, Deeks or Sam could be dead, or they could be walking into an army of men. Only Hetty's assertion that Sidorov needed them alive kept her from completely losing it. She clung onto that little thread of hope as the warehouse loomed into view.

They got out of the car quietly and approached the warehouse on foot. A few men paced outside, guarding the place. Callen signaled for Kensi and Nell to take the right while he took the left with Michelle. There was a shuffle as Michelle took out a guard and Kensi waited until the guard close to her turned around before delivering a hard blow to the base of his skull. The guard crumpled to the floor and she dragged him out of view before pulling the clip out of his gun and binding his hands and feet with zip ties. Callen was hiding behind a wall to try and take out another guard when one stepped out of the building and spotted him. The silent night air was peppered with gunfire and Kensi took out two guards before dropping behind a cooling vent beside Nell.

They had to move fast, there was no doubt in her mind now that Sidorov would panic and kill Sam and Deeks before they could get to them. The silence was so sudden it was almost loud, then the squeal of tires and slam of car doors. Kensi burst out from behind her cover and raced for the warehouse. Fear that she would find her partner lifeless on the floor made her lungs contract and she gulped in air as she ran. She vaguely heard Callen yelling her name over the com but she ignored it. Footsteps pounded close behind her and she knew they were Nells.

Kensi burst into the warehouse. There was a long narrow hallway that lead to three doors. She signaled to Nell and they worked together to clear the first two rooms. Kensi kicked open the last door and burst in with her gun at the ready, and lost her breath. Two chairs in two rooms sat facing each other. There was a glass door separating the rooms. On the table lay various instruments of torture, and there was blood on the floor. She wasn't aware that the desperate sound was coming from her until Nell put a hand on her arm.

"Damn it I lost them!" Callen growled into the com and Kensi shook her head in denial. No, they couldn't have found them only to lose them again. It was pure luck they'd found Sidorov in the first place, it was unlikely they would find him again.

"Callen, you're going to need to see this," Kensi said dully as she stared at the poorly fashioned electric chair. Deeks had been subjected to one of these chairs, he'd probably been forced to watch Sam, and vice versa. Callen appeared behind her and his face went grim as he took in the scene. He shook his head violently and slammed a fist into the wall, breaking through the drywall. Kensi continued staring at those little spots of blood on the floor. Sam or Deeks had been there, their blood had dripped to the floor as they were tortured into giving information. It was silent in the room until they heard footsteps echoing down the hall.

"I tried going back for the car to tail them, but it was too late, they got away." Michelle said, and for the first time Kensi heard a tremor in her voice. Callen seemed to jerk out of his reverie and strode towards the hallway out of the room.

"Stay out, let's go." Callen said.

"What do you mean? Is it Sam?" Michelle's voice was tight with fear.

"No, let's go."

"The hell I will!" Michelle said and she burst into the room. Her face went slack with shock and she covered her hand with her mouth.

"No, no, no ,no, no." She whispered, her lips trembling. "Callen"

He pulled her close as her body shook with tremors.

Guilt and helpless anger ravaged his face as he held her and Kensi looked away. She needed to get out of this room. She pushed through the back door and paused when something crunched under her boot. It was a cell phone with a number taped to it. _Call to save your agents_.

Kensi grabbed it and ran back into the room. She handed it wordlessly over to Callen. His face was unreadable as he read the note.

Callen closed his eyes briefly before dialing in the number.

Kensi could hear the ring on the other end of the line in the silence of the room.

"Hello Agent," the voice coming from the phone sounded tinny and distant.

"What do you want?" Callen demanded

"Skip the pleasantries and right down to business, a man after my own heart."

Callen was silent as Sidorov continued.

"I want 10 million dollars, you get one agent."

"Both agents," Callen snapped.

"You bargain when you have no room to bargain. One agent, do not try my patience."

"Two agents," Callen repeated and he looked at Michelle. "Two agents and I let you have your girl Quinn back."

There was a pause on the end of the line. For all they knew Michelle's cover was still intact, even if Sidorov doubted it.

"You have Quinn?" He demanded angrily.

"Yes, you give us both our agents and in return we give you Quinn."

There was a long pause, finally Sidorov answered.

"I will text you the coordinates, we meet in ten hours. If I don't see both Quinn and the money your agents are dead."

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed Chapter 2! Expect the team to be reunited by next chapter, update coming soon. **

**I had quite a few people ask how often I will update. I usually update weekly when writing multi-chapter stories, but many times I will update faster if work isn't crazy. **


	3. Chapter 3

****WARNING**:**** There will be a scene dealing with Deeks' childhood, and depicting child abuse. It is not graphic or greatly detailed, but I know that it can still be a little hard for some to read so feel free to skip over it. It has been italicized so it's easier to spot and you will not be missing out on much if you do choose to skip reading it. **

**Welcome new readers!**

* * *

It was late as the group of agents stood around the table in OPS and drew out a plan of attack. Eric had pulled up satellite footage of the exact location where Sidorov had told them to meet. He'd chosen another desolate desert meeting spot, perfect for handling unsavory business anonymously. Callen circled a small hill populated with brush.

"Kensi, you'll be set up with a sniper rifle here, Michelle and I will come in by vehicle here." Callen drew a red line across the map. "Nell, you'll stay in the car until both Sam and Deeks are accounted for, and be on standby for backup."

Nell nodded and tucked her hair nervously behind her ear. Truth was, she'd been itching to get a chance to go out in the field again. Her previous experiences had provided an almost addicting adrenaline rush, and not counting the time she'd almost died, she'd found she wasn't half bad. Now more than ever, she needed to rely on her training, the lives of two of her teammates counted on it. Nell could see Eric staring at her as she listened intently to Callen. It both flattered and annoyed her that he would worry. She wished she had the self assured swagger that Kensi and the rest of the field agents had, but such things took time, at least that's what she told herself.

"We meet at 5am tomorrow, it's a long drive to the desert. Try and get some sleep, we all need to be on top of our game."

Nell collected her things as everyone filed out. Only she and Eric remained, and the OPS center was quiet.

"Be careful out there."

"You don't think I can handle myself?"

"I know you can handle yourself, I just can't seem to not worry about you."

Nell smiled, his sweetness charmed her.

"I'm nervous, do you think they still get nervous?" Nell asked, referring to the other agents.

Eric seemed to ponder that for a moment and shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes I still get nervous if I have to make technical miracles happen under pressure, maybe it's the same thing for them."

Nell nodded, it made sense. Suddenly out of nowhere Eric grabbed her and pulled her into a rib crushing hug.

"Please don't get hurt, I don't think I could handle that."

"Ow, you're squishing me, let go." Nell said with a laugh.

"Sorry," Eric said, and he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Because her heart started up that funny little rhythm it had been prone to do around him lately, she turned away.

"I'll be fine," Nell said before she grabbed her bag and left.

* * *

The important thing was to remember that he was alive, that while the floor had been splattered with blood, it wasn't a life threatening amount of blood. Kensi let out a shuddering breath and rolled over in her bed. Here alone in her room she let the tears fall where no one could see them. She was supposed to rest, she needed to be in perfect form tomorrow. They all did, but she couldn't fight the images that formed in her head, each worse than the last. It wasn't fair, just as she and Deeks finally taken a step forward, fate dealt them a tragic hand. Maybe it had been a stupid idea to challenge their relationship right in the middle of a high stakes OP, but she'd been so tired of the games, the sidestepping. The fact that he'd kept his undercover operation a secret from her, had kept Monica a secret from her, had bothered her more than she cared to admit. It had suddenly hit her just how much she hated the thought of him with another woman. Being partners was supposed to be enough, but it hadn't been for a long time now.

Kensi rolled to face the ceiling, tear tracks were drying on her face. They were going to get Sam and Deeks back, there was no other option she was willing to accept.

* * *

Callen paced around his living room as he went over the plan in his head for the hundredth time. He'd told his team to rest, knowing full well he wouldn't sleep tonight. It didn't matter, he barely slept on a regular basis and he could easily thrive on just a few hours of sleep. Michelle slept upstairs in his bed. It was too risky for her to be seen, and it gave him a small touch of comfort to know that he kept Sam's wife safe while he was being held captive. Sam was like a brother to him, their bond was thicker than blood. Sam had stood by his side for years, the only constant in his life. Meeting Sam had changed him, trusting someone, loving someone as he loved Sam, it brought meaning to his life. He'd never said those things to Sam, he didn't even think he could put it to words. Sam had given him family again, and now he was poised to lose everything, again.

Guilt weighed heavily in his chest. He should have known Janvier would find a way to undermine the operation. Now Sam and Deeks paid the price for his error in judgment. There was no telling what shape Sam and Deeks would be in if they got them back. Callen had seen the machine, the tools of torture. Sam had gone through this before, twice in his career as a Navy SEAL he had been captured and endured inhuman suffering. The first, a week in a small dark room where he was beaten for information, the second, buried alive with another SEAL who gave his life so Sam could have more time. It was why he took care of his body so religiously, as if to somehow undo the things that were done to him. Only Callen and Michelle knew about the occasional nightmares that still plagued him. Callen's hand fisted and he stopped his pacing. His eyes landed on his gun that lay on the counter. He walked across the room and stared at his hand as if it were alien to him as it closed around the gun. His family history was rife with blood spilled over revenge, maybe it was his fate to continue the cycle.

If he left now he could make it to the high security holding facility where they'd moved Janvier and the Russian girl, take him out, and be back before Michelle woke.

Callen slipped out of his house and got in his car. The drive to the holding facility was short. His blood pumped hot as anger darkened his mind. He was on his way to take a man's life, not out of self defense or to disarm. It was cold blooded murder, revenge. For all his talk about wanting death, Callen believed Janvier wanted nothing more than to live. The facility was dark, a lone guard patrolled the border. It was easy to slip by him, almost too easy. He had clearance to get in, and he was well aware they would trace his personal code, but he was beyond caring. All he wanted was the death of the man who had caused him so much pain. As Callen walked down the dimly lit hallway, his heartbeat seemed to echo in his ears. The door loomed before him and he stopped with his hand on the doorknob. Janvier slept on the other side of that door. All it would take was a single shot with the muzzle of the gun pressing against his temple, and he would be dead. Callen hesitated, but then he thought of Sam, and he keyed in his code before quietly opening the door.

The room was empty except for the small figure that sat in a chair in the corner of the room.

"Where's Janvier?" Callen demanded

"He's been moved to a more secure location. I think it's in your best interest that you do not know where, for the time being." Hetty said.

"Why are you protecting him?" Callen demanded.

"We do not mete out justice by murder and revenge Mr. Callen. Murder darkens the soul, I will not see you throw your life away."

"He doesn't deserve to live!" Callen yelled, kicking the door angrily.

"No, but until we can locate those weapons he must remain alive." Hetty said.

The room was wrought with tension as Callen glared out the window.

"Rest, Mr. Callen. Tomorrow you fight for our agent's lives. Your team is counting on you, you must stay strong."

His anger deflated like a balloon and he shook his head. The murderous haze cleared from his mind and he knew Hetty was right. His team needed him, Sam and Deeks needed him. It was no longer just him, he had a whole group of people who depended on him. Hetty had known that making him team leader would bring a purpose to his life that he wouldn't have found elsewhere, it kept him grounded like nothing else could.

Callen rubbed a hand over his face and tucked his gun into his holster.

"Thank you Hetty"

* * *

They'd been bound and gagged and thrown into a small dark room. The dark hoods that had been thrown over their heads during transport lay beside them. They sat side by side, each breathing through their own unique pain. Sam was feverish beside him, his shoulder hot and damp against his. The gag they'd stuffed in Deeks' mouth was putting pressure right where most of his pain was localized and it was already soaked with blood. His plan to get Sam out had failed. Something had gone wrong and Sidorov and his men had pulled him off the chair and tried to wrangle a hood over his head. Deeks had tried to fight back, but the numbers were against him. He ached from where fists had pounded into torso, the left side of his mouth was so swollen it looked like his left eye was half closed. Deeks worried about Sam, there was no telling what kind of internal damage had been done and the fever and sweating was not a good sign.

Deeks fiddled with the ropes that bound his wrists. It was impossible to maneuver out of, his fingers couldn't bend enough to reach the knots. Already his wrists were becoming raw as he struggled against the ropes. Deeks stopped moving and let out a slow breath. Clearly they'd moved them for a reason, someone had yelled "they're coming". Deeks wasn't sure, but he had a hunch that "they" could have been the rest of the team. Sidorov had fled the warehouse and he hadn't killed them, so he must have a use for them. Sam was breathing shallowly beside him. He needed medical attention fast. Deeks could only hope and pray that the team found them before Sam's condition deteriorated any further. There was a loud bang at the door and Deeks jumped. His heart raced madly, but no one came in. Slowly his breathing went back to normal. Sam groaned beside him and Deeks leaned over to make sure he was still okay.

The door banged open and Mikhael walked in. Fear caused beads of sweat to pop out on Deeks' brow and he struggled viciously as Mikhael hoisted him up by his elbows. He couldn't be separated from Sam, they'd been together this whole time and while it was humbling to admit, he feared he would finally break without the constant reminder that he wasn't alone in this. Deeks struggled, kicking and twisting, trying anything to stay with Sam. Mikhael slammed him against the door frame and everything went black.

_Marty, full name Martin Alexander Brandel was seven years old today. He liked to go by Marty, because Martin got hit and yelled at, but Marty was just another kid. Marty went home and everything was fine, there was food in his fridge and soccer practice in the afternoons, at least that's what he told the social worker. He watched from his window as the other kids laughed and shrieked in delight in the street below. It hadn't taken him long to realize he was not like them. He was not supposed to be here. His father despised him, his mother had long ago given up. Those kids made their parents proud, he was here to be a punching bag, to be punished for living, because after all, he was worthless. Not fit to live like the others. _

_His room was a dark and dusty and the sour smell of stale alcohol seeped from the walls. There was a broken bottle under a beer stain by the wall. He'd dodged the bottle this time, he had a scar on his brow from another time when he hadn't been so lucky. It was peaceful now, his mother was in the kitchen scrubbing the floor until her fingers bled, his father was probably passed out somewhere. Marty took the chance and scooted under his bed to pull out the comic book he'd stolen from the grocery store last week. He wasn't allowed much, just a few trinkets here and there, and oddly, a violin. In a rare moment of sobriety Gordon had allowed his mother to purchase the violin so that he could take lessons at the local Boys and Girls club. It was the only constant in his life, every Tuesday and Thursday right after school he would join Miss Pruitt and a handful of children and they would spend an hour learning to play. Marty smiled as he thought of Miss Pruitt. She was old and smelled of mothballs and mint. The other kids made fun of her and pulled faces behind her back, but he liked her. She'd told him she was proud of him today, that she thought he could become quite the violinist if he wanted to. It had suddenly become his life's ambition to become a violinist and he imagined Miss Pruitt in the crowd smiling proudly as he played. _

_Because he was lost in the happy thought he heard the footsteps too late. Fear chilled him as he heard the deep timbre of his father's voice and he had barely scooted out from under the bed when a hand wrapped around his ankle and pulled. Marty tried to grab onto something to get away but Gordon had already fisted a hand in his shirt to pull him up. _

_"What are you doing boy?"_

_"N-nothing." Marty said. _

_"That's all you're good for isn't it?" Gordon slurred, his face close to him. _

_Marty made the mistake of cringing away from the smell of his breath. _

_"What the hell did I tell you about listening to me when I speak! I will teach you respect Martin, if I have to beat it into you!" Gordon struck him so he fell to the floor. _

_"You deserve this you worthless waste of space, you never learn! You're stupid. Even a dog knows to stop you kick him." He yanked him up from the floor and shook him. _

_"Stupid worthless boy!" He yelled, his eyes burning with hatred. Marty winced as Gordon struck him again. He went to the place in his mind where he always went when the beatings started. The beach. They'd only gone once, they'd watched seals play in the waves and his mother had laughed. It was his happiest memory. While his father raged and pounded on him Marty was watching the water lap at the sand. When his vision started to gray and he fell to the floor he almost smiled in relief, it would be over soon. He wasn't even sad when he spotted the broken violin on the floor, because he was at the beach and he was laughing. His mother was smiling and her sunny blonde hair was being tossed by the breeze. When everything went black he was left with a slight smile on his face and no matter how much Gordon beat and terrorized him he would never erase that smile, because Marty wouldn't let him. It was his one defiance, his one stand. He would never become bitter, because that would mean Gordon would win. _

* * *

Deeks was visibly shaking when he woke again. It wasn't often that he relived those dark moments from his childhood but they still packed the same punch as if he was right back in that musty old room. He struggled to force those memories down as he was jostled in what he assumed was a moving vehicle. The dark hood had been thrown over his head again and he had no idea where he was headed or if Sam was still with him. The car bounced again and Deeks felt someone fall against him. The groan and the unnatural heat were blessedly familiar. Sam was right beside him, they were being moved again, but they were still together. Deeks sighed in relief. All his hope and strength had become entwined with the assurance that Sam lived. In the way of victims in horrible situations, their survival had become dependent on each other.

* * *

Kensi remained motionless on the hill as Callen and Michelle waited in the car in the valley below. She'd set up cover so she wouldn't be spotted from the road and kept her scope covered for now, so a sudden flash of light wouldn't alert Sidorov and his men to her location. The hill was small and about half a mile away from the proposed meeting spot but she wasn't taking any chances. She watched Callen and Michelle through her binoculars and her earwig relayed their conversation.

"I want you to fight any show of affection towards Sam, act like he's betrayed you too. If Sidorov catches on to you he'll kill them both and probably try to kill us too."

"I know, I have done this before," Michelle said testily.

"Right, right I know, I'm sorry. It helps me to vocalize sometimes."

"Sam said he has to practically twist your arm to get you to talk."

"Well he usually does a lot of the talking so what do I need to say anything for?" Callen replied.

Michelle let out a sad chuckle "He used to talk my ear off during stakeouts."

Callen laughed.

No more conversation was relayed over the earwig and Kensi lay in silence as the sun rose higher in the sky. The sun was strong in the desert and even early in the morning it was uncomfortably hot. Sweat rolled down her temple and she brushed it away as she checked her watch for the hundredth time. They were supposed to initiate the trade in under ten minutes, there was still no sign of Sidorov or his men. Kensi once again began the slow scan of the surrounding desert. There was a total of three ways Sidorov could arrive at their destination and she scanned all three directions before setting her binoculars down in frustration.

"I don't see him."

"He'll show, he needs the money to get out of the country, and if he still believes Michelle's cover he's going to want her too."

Kensi bit her lip, clinging onto any hope she had. He would come, he was just desperate enough to risk it.

"It's a power play Kensi, he'll show, he may be late, but he'll show."

"Okay," Kensi whispered and she picked up the binoculars to scan the area again. She almost gave up when she noticed a small dust cloud forming.

"I think I see them." She said, waiting until the cars came closer.

"I see a dark gray sedan and a black SUV coming in from the west, about a mile out."

Kensi put down the binoculars and uncovered her scope. She wiggled into position and settled her Remington Magnum onto the tripod. With a range of just over 1000 meters it was more than adequate from this distance. There was a slight enough breeze coming in from the southwest that she would have to adjust her aim about two inches to the right. Both she and Nell were on standby to assist if anything went wrong. They'd restrained Michelle, but a deep cut had been made in the industrial strength zip ties so that she could rip out of them easily when it was time for their plan to come into play. Michelle had a gun hidden under her shirt and a knife tucked in her boot. Callen wore his weapon visibly on his hip, and had another hidden in an ankle holster.

They'd trade Michelle as Quinn and as soon as Sam and Deeks were handed over they would pretend to hand over the briefcase while both Nell and Kensi opened fire to cover Callen as he got Sam and Deeks to safety. Michelle would burst out of her restraints and take out anyone close to her. It was risky for everyone involved, there were a number of things that could go wrong, shooting into the middle of a firefight could injure one of her own, but it was the only plan they had.

Kensi slowed her breathing as she watched the cars approach. She scanned the cars desperately for any sign of Sam or Deeks but the tinted windows and glare from the sun made it impossible to tell who was inside.

"I don't have a visual on Sam or Deeks, tinted windows," Kensi said.

Callen didn't answer, she didn't expect him to. Sidorov was already there.

She could only hear Callen's side of the conversation and Sidorov faced away from her so she couldn't read his lips.

Sidorov seemed to ask a question and Callen nodded his head in confirmation. He pulled Michelle out of the car and Sidorov nodded.

"Release the agents." Callen said.

Kensi held her breath and immediately hated herself for the slight wave of disappointment when they pulled Sam out of the vehicle first. The pulled off the hood covering his head and pushed him forwards. There was a barely audible gasp Kensi was sure came from Michelle. It wasn't loud enough for anyone not wearing com's to hear. Sam stumbled forward and even though she watched from a scope a half a mile away she could see he was in bad shape. Kensi held her breath for Deeks to be released, but they closed the door to the SUV. Panic gripped her and she grit her teeth.

"Where's the other agent."

Sidorov shook his head.

"The deal was for both agents." Callen said angrily. Sidorov gestured angrily and shook his head again. Callen's shoulders sagged and he pushed Michelle forward. Sidorov grabbed Michelle and shoved Sam forward.

Kensi was filled with despair as she watched Callen step back with Sam. The plan had changed, something had to be wrong. Deeks wasn't there. She tried to hold back the tears but they overflowed anyway. She needed to be there for her team even if all she wanted to do was run as far away from the reality that she would never see her partner again. There was a shuffle and Michelle broke free of her restraints and knocked Sidorov down. Nell burst out of the car and fired at the men who ran at Sam and Callen. Michelle clutched her arm and fired at the man who had just shot her. Kensi took out the driver of the SUV and moved her scope slowly so she could wait for another target to open up. In the scuffle Sidorov had managed to get up and make his way to the sedan.

"Sidorov is getting away!" Kensi yelled as she tried to find an opening to blow one of the tires. Suddenly the men stopped firing and clambered into the SUV, tossing the driver out in the process. The sedan was speeding away and Callen was holding off the shots coming from the SUV as it swung into reverse. Kensi fired two shots and both missed. She knew it was because she was breathing too hard. She stopped, held her breath, and aimed for the front tire. The SUV lurched and as it spun out it rolled onto its side. Kensi let go of the sniper rifle and pulled her gun from her side holster. She half ran half stumbled down the hill in her attempt to get to her team. It was the fastest she'd ever run a half mile. If any of the men were alive she would question them personally. Torture wasn't going to be a problem for her any more. Fury bright and strong burned in her chest. A sob ripped from her throat as she watched Sam struggling against Callen's grip. These men would pay for everything they did.

Callen bent down to Sam and as Kensi got closer she saw Sam was trying to say something. The raspy wheeze echoed in her own earwig as Sam spoke into Callen's ear.

"Deeks... car... alive."

Kensi whipped around and sprinted to the SUV. The only thing that mattered now was that he was alive. She shot the man who crawled out of the car in cold blood, barely breaking her stride. Kensi leaped onto the side of the vehicle and swung open the door. Deeks lay motionless against the side door, blood matted his head. She wasn't sure how she managed to clamber in and pull him out, but by the time she'd hefted him halfway up, Callen was already there helping to pull him out and ease him to the ground. Deeks lay motionless, his mouth gagged with a blood soaked rag. Kensi untied the gag with shaky hands and her stomach revolted at the sight of his swollen jaw and face. She pressed two fingers to the side of his neck and tried to feel for a pulse. She was shaking so hard she felt nothing and she looked desperately at Callen.

"Please, tell me if he's alive, I can't, I can't feel a pulse."  
Callen moved her hand gently away and pressed his fingers to the side of Deeks' neck. The few seconds it took for him to feel for a pulse seemed like hours.

"He's alive, they're both alive." Callen said roughly.

Kensi cradled Deeks' head in her arms and lowered her head to his chest.

"Oh god, oh god. Deeks."

Callen grabbed her shoulder.

"We need to get him to the car, we need to get them to a hospital,"

Kensi nodded and she moved so Callen could grab Deeks under the shoulders and hoist him up. She grabbed Deeks' legs and they carried him to the car where they laid him on the back seat. Michelle sat with Sam in the roomy back trunk where they'd removed the last row of seats. He was covered with a blanket and Michelle was slowly giving him water. Tears wet her cheeks.

Nell was on the satellite phone with Eric telling him to send two ambulance's to meet them once they got to the highway. Callen jumped behind the wheel and waited until Nell got in the front seat and Kensi jumped in beside Deeks before he took off. He went as fast as he safely could over the rough desert road and Kensi winced every time Deeks was jostled. His head lay on her lap and his blood was already soaking into her jeans. Kensi ran her hands gently over his hair and the side of his face that wasn't swollen. She had to close her eyes as a wave of pure horror washed over her. She had no idea what he'd been through in the past 24 hours, all she knew was she wouldn't leave his side until he was completely okay again. His eyelids fluttered open and Kensi held her breath as tears streamed unbidden down her face. Deeks opened his eyes fully and never had she been so happy to see those blue eyes.

She couldn't speak, she only smiled teary eyed at him as he stared up at her.

His hand came up to press to the side of her face and she tried to hold back the sob that threatened to escape.

"Kens, you crying for me?" He asked, the words coming out a bit slurred. He tried to smile but it turned into a grimace of pain instead.

"Yeah, and you better remember this moment because I'm not going to do it again." Kensi said with a sniffle.

Deeks blinked slowly and smiled at her .

"Mental picture." He whispered.

Kensi smiled and laughed lightly before grabbing the hand that he pressed to her cheek and kissing the inside of his palm.

"Never leave me again." She whispered, beyond caring if anyone heard her.

"Never," Deeks replied.

* * *

As soon as they hit the state highway Callen stopped and pulled over so the paramedics could load Sam and Deeks into the waiting ambulances. Michelle and Kensi rode with them and Callen was left in the car with Nell who was desperately trying to hide her tears. Callen swallowed his discomfort and patted her arm awkwardly

"We got them, they're going to be okay." He said.

Nell nodded and wiped at the tears that continued to come.

"I know, it's just, they were so hurt, and-" She shook her head and pressed her lips tightly together. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"Don't be," Callen replied as he followed the two ambulances as they sped down the road, sirens blaring. He was filled with relief, yet Sam's condition worried him. He'd seen the burn marks on Sam's skin and now he knew he had been the one who'd been put in the electric chair. It was probably a small miracle that Sam was still alive, although there could be countless complications with internal burns and tissue damage.

Sam and Deeks were both admitted into ICU once they got into the hospital and they were all forced to wait outside as the doctors and nurses stabilized them. Kensi stood wide-eyed and stared blankly at the wall, shifting her feet every now and then. Michelle was sitting on a chair picking at her jeans while Nell bit her lip nervously and paced around the room. Callen watched them mindlessly as he waited for news. A nurse in pale pink scrubs scurried out and blinked in surprise as they all rushed towards her.

"Martin Deeks has been transferred into a room, he can have visitors now." She said. Kensi followed her and the rest of them hung back. Nell resumed her pacing and Michelle returned to her chair. Callen looked up just as Hetty and Eric rushed in.

"How are they?" Hetty asked Callen in a low voice.

"Deeks is stable, we're still waiting to hear about Sam."

Hetty nodded and let out a slow sigh.

"The only thing that matters now is that they're safe."

The nurse in the pink scrubs came back into the waiting room.

"Sam Hanna has been stabilized and moved to a room." Both Callen and Michelle lurched forward and Callen stepped back awkwardly as he remembered his place.

"Come, please, he will want to see you." Michelle said.

Callen nodded and followed her into Sam's room.

Michelle immediately went to Sam's side and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Sam grabbed her hand and smiled.

"We're going to have him try to avoid talking, the electric shocks caused quite a bit of internal burning and we don't want to put any more strain on his system." The nurse said, and she put a whiteboard and pen on the table beside Sam's bed.

Callen went to Sam's side and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Really glad you pulled through buddy, didn't want to have to break in a new partner."

Sam rolled his eyes and gestured for Michelle to hand him the whiteboard.

"Don't hand him that, he's going to write something rude." Callen said dryly.

Michelle laughed and rubbed a hand over Sam's head. Sam frowned as he noticed Michelle's bandaged arm and he pointed questioningly to the white gauze.

"Bullet grazed me," Michelle explained. Sam nodded and covered her hand with his.

"I'll give you two some time." Callen said

"Actually, I have to call my mom, check on the kids." Michelle said, and she slipped out. Callen knew what she was doing and he smiled and shook his head.

"Michelle was amazing today, you got lucky with her."

Sam nodded.

"Listen, I wanted to say I'm sorry. I put you in danger, I put our whole team in danger because I risked getting Janvier involved. I-" Callen broke off as Sam squeezed a hand around his forearm and shook his head fiercely.

Callen closed his eyes as he understood. Sam didn't blame him.

"You're the only family I have, I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."

Sam smiled and squeezed Callen's forearm again. He knew.

* * *

They'd given him pain medicine and something to reduce the swelling. He was blearily aware of the nurse telling him he needed a good amount of reconstructive dental surgery to prevent infection. There were three gaping holes in his right back molars and a fourth tooth was completely cracked in half. They'd cleaned the blood from his face and pumped fluids in him and for the first time in over a day he felt no pain. He drifted in and out the drug induced fogginess only aware each time that Kensi sat beside him. Every now and then someone else would come in and he would hear the soft murmur of voices before they eventually faded away. He opened his eyes now to see Kensi curled up on a small cot they'd dragged in for her. The clock read four AM and he wondered if it was the first time she'd slept since everything happened. Her face was pale and her eyes were swollen as if she'd been crying recently. He still hated to see her cry, but even teary eyed, waking up in her lap had been one of the happiest moments of his life. The sheer relief had almost made _him_ start to get teary-eyed and he was thankful he'd been so delirious with pain at that point that he'd just passed out again. Weariness came over him like a soft wool blanket and he closed his eyes, floating into the sensation of deadened nerve endings.

He could hear Sidorov's voice. Deeks struggled to fight back the effects of the drugs. They were going to get Kensi, they were going to get him. He felt like he was climbing a mountain of silk as he tried to pull himself out of the drug induced sleep. They were here, they were taking him back. He didn't deserve to live, there was only one thing he was here for. But they were going to take Kensi too, and he needed to stop them. He heard a horrifying scream that chilled him to the bone and he thrashed, yanking out his IV in the process. He wasn't aware the scream was his until he felt hands pressing him back into the bed, and Kensi's coolly controlled voice soothing him. Almost immediately the heart pumping fear disappeared, leaving him shaky and his stomach raw.

"It's okay Deeks, it's just a dream. We've got you, you're safe."

Her eyes were wide and her face was bone white, he was sure he must have scared her too. Only then did he become aware of the nurse who had run in as she reattached the IV and checked his vitals. Kensi kept stroking her hands through his hair and murmuring as the nurse made him comfortable.

Deeks let out a shaky breath and tried to fight the heaviness behind his eyes, but the nurse must have drugged him because he was slipping away again.

Kensi continued stroking her hands over Deeks' hair long after the drug had taken effect and sedated him. They'd warned her about this, that Deeks could suffer from emotional trauma as well as physical trauma. She didn't think she'd ever heard anyone scream like that, the pure primal fear in it had caused the hair at the back of her neck to stand up.

"It's going to be okay." She said softly, watching as he slept.

* * *

**Next Chapter: Sidorov still has the bombs, he's still a threat. Sam and Deeks both have different roads to recovery. Next chapter will pick up right after this one left off, and then most likely there will be a small time jump about mid-chapter, to keep the action going. Hope you all enjoyed Chapter 3! Let me know what you think. **

****Thank you to all anonymous reviewers. Susan L. Grabon, Angel, Nikita, and Guests :)****


	4. Chapter 4

**The response to this story has been amazing, thank you to all of you, and a great big thank you to ****SuperDensi247**** who has given me some great input and feedback on this story. :) **

**Special thanks to guest reviewers: Star, Philipa (thanks for telling your friends about this story!), Supern0va, kath46, Winnie69, Lexi, and other anonymous guests. **

* * *

He was twitching in his sleep. Kensi watched nervously as Deeks shifted slightly, his breath hitching erratically. She grabbed his hand, stroking the skin slowly, hoping to calm him. He made a sound that sounded like a mix of a groan and a muffled scream before waking up and lunging at her so fast she barely had time to shove him back. His IV ripped out and the heart monitor screeched and Kensi had to practically climb on top of him to hold him down.

"Deeks! Deeks! You're safe, it's me!" She yelled, watching with relief as his eyes cleared. The painful grip on her arm released and he stared at his hand in horror.

"Sorry, I'm sorry Kens." He said before yanking his arm away from the nurse who was trying to put the IV back in his arm.

"No more drugs, I'm fine, I don't need it."

She looked at Kensi who nodded.

"How's the pain?" The nurse asked Deeks

"Nothing, zero, no pain." Deeks snapped, sitting up in the bed. "I don't want any more drugs." He repeated.

"Okay, no more drugs." Kensi said, waiting until the nurse left before looking back at Deeks. "You good?"

"I will be once they stop pumping drugs into me every time I wake up."

"You needed the rest, they're waiting for the swelling to go down so they can fix your teeth."

Deeks was silent and Kensi sighed, laying a hand on his arm.

"You don't have to be okay, you went through a lot."

"I need to be okay." Deeks said, not meeting her gaze.

"You will be, but you have to give yourself time."

"Just keep that damn drug happy nurse away from me." Deeks said testily.

She knew it was the effects of the drugs and most likely remnants from whatever nightmare he was having that was making him so cranky, but it still pained her to see him without his usual smile.

"I thought you liked nurses." Kensi said, leaning back in her chair to look at him.

His eyes lit with mild amusement and he moved his eyes over her.

"You wanna play nurse Fern?" He asked

"In your dreams buddy." She said, relaxing when he chuckled and lay his head against the pillow.

* * *

Sam wasn't doing too well. Already the initial dose of pain medication was starting to wear off and he still had another hour to wait until they could give him another dose. His fever had gone up again and Michelle was bathing his face with cool cloths. Callen paced the hallway outside as Hetty argued with someone over the phone. Last he'd heard she was trying to get a highly specialized doctor from UCSD's burn unit to take Sam's case. The internal imaging had confirmed there was quite a bit of damage to Sam's lungs and his other internal organs had multiple burn points from the jolts of electricity that had been shot through his body. Any other person wouldn't have lived through it, but Sam was built strong, he'd survived more than the average person countless times.

Eventually they were going to have to get back to their search for Sidirov and the weapons. Nell and Eric were doing their best to track him but he'd gone underground and it didn't look like he was emerging any time soon. Callen checked his phone again to see if there were any text or call alerts. Hetty was already taking fire from secretary of the Navy and Granger was hounding Nell and Eric incessantly.

"Well why don't you tell Doctor Anders that if he doesn't get his man over here within the hour I will personally go to the director. Yes, it just so happens I have a close personal relationship with director Kajir and I am not above using it." Hetty punched the end call button angrily. "Imbeciles." She muttered under her breath.

Callen raised an eyebrow. "It's been a while since I heard you use your connections to threaten people."

"It's been a while since the situation called for it." Hetty said as she stared at the door that separated them from Sam and Michelle. He could see the situation was starting to take its toll on Hetty. Most of the time, the presence she carried with her made her ageless. Times like these, when her agents lives had been in mortal danger, and they lay recovering from unspeakable acts, he could see how frail she was starting to become. It wasn't something he liked to think about, the immortal Henrietta Lange becoming frail with age, but the reality of it was, that after a lifetime of hard decisions and close calls, these situations began to wear on her. He knew she took it especially hard when one of her own agents became injured and this was no different.

"How is he doing?" Hetty asked, gesturing to Sam's room.

"They're struggling to get his fever down and he's starting to cough as his lungs are starting to heal, but it's doing more damage than good. They've got him on a cough suppressant and fever reducers and he's due for another intravenous shot of Dilaudid in the next hour."

Hetty nodded and her gaze came to rest on the room three doors down and across the hall.

"And Mr. Deeks?"

"They've scheduled reconstructive dental surgery for this afternoon. The swelling has almost gone down completely and he's expected to make a full recovery."

Hetty nodded and seemed to think for a moment.

"And mentally?"  
Callen shook his head.

"Not sure, he's been sedated most of the time, Kensi says he's been having nightmares."

Hetty sighed and they walked to the room where Deeks sat. In the hallway, hidden from view they watched as Kensi and Deeks talked. Kensi's face held traces of the strain she'd been under, and her face was pale from lack of sleep.

"How is Miss Blye handling all of this?"

Callen shook his head slowly.

"I think she will do anything in her power to help him." He turned to look at Hetty. "I'm not sure how that will pan out."

Hetty continued to watch the two agents. "I think, that we will have to watch them very carefully."

Callen nodded, he knew Hetty would step in the moment Deeks started to lose his grip. It was important to watch both Deeks and Sam very closely, Deeks especially. There could be any number of psychological damages, they still didn't know exactly what had happened in that room.

* * *

It had fallen silent in the room again and Deeks watched as Kensi shifted uncomfortably in the chair. She looked exhausted, and her face showed the strain she'd been under.

"You should get some sleep." He told her.

"I'll sleep later, I'm not leaving you," she replied.

"Kensi I'll be fine."

"Just, don't ask me to leave, okay?" She looked away and he could see she was trying to control her emotions.

Deeks nodded, he understood, and he was secretly relieved she wasn't going anywhere. Every time he slept nightmares tormented him, each time twisting reality into a terrifying alternative. So far, the only thing that had brought him back was the sound of her voice, cool and soothing, promising him that he was safe. He was aware of what was happening to him, he'd been around enough people suffering PTSD to recognize the symptoms. He just needed to get his control back, get out of this damn hospital bed and back to normal. The first step had been refusing the drugs, they made him foggy and forced him into a state of false relaxation. Deeks realized that avoiding sleep was probably not the best idea, but for now it was the only thing he could control and he desperately needed it. He was afraid to fall apart, to really lose it. There was an overwhelming fear that he wouldn't find his way back again.

Kensi shifted again and grabbed the remote to turn on the TV that hung on the wall. She flipped aimlessly through the channels until she found an old western.

"Rugged cowboys and cheesy dialogue?" She asked.

He nodded and she settled back in the chair to watch the town sheriff face off with two greasy outlaws. Deeks' gaze dropped to her arm and he noticed an angry red mark that was already starting to go purple. At first he dismissed it as an op injury, but it looked too new, and he was starting to get flashes of waking up and grabbing someone. Reality and shame settled over him. He'd hurt her, while he hadn't been in his right mind, he had still grabbed her hard enough to bruise. The outline of his fingers on her skin taunted him, visions of hurting her worse the next time he woke from a dream kept him fighting his fatigue.

The same nurse he'd snapped at earlier came in and checked his vitals. He gave her an apologetic smile and she patted him on the arm.

"Feeling better yet Mr. Deeks?"

"Much better, call me Marty." He said with a charming grin. He could practically feel Kensi rolling her eyes behind him.

The nurse smiled and checked his IV.

"Good, we can schedule your dental surgery whenever you're ready."

"I'm ready." Deeks said, knowing the sooner he was out of here the sooner he could wrestle back his sense of control.

"All right, we'll alert the dental team."

She left and Deeks turned to Kensi who raised an eyebrow at him.

"Feeling good enough to hit on the nurses again I see?" Her tone was playful and she seemed more relieved than annoyed.

"You were right, I like nurses." He said, shrugging his shoulders. His jaw was beginning to ache a little and he hoped they could get this surgery over with quickly.

Kensi opened her mouth to say something but just then a harried looking doctor rushed in with a cart laden with dental tools.

"That was fast," Deeks said in surprise.

"Your team leader, the small woman, she is very..." The dentist trailed off and looked over his shoulder before turning back to Deeks. "She insisted," was all he said as he began to set up his tools. Deeks met Kensi's eyes and they both smiled.

"We can put you under or anesthetize the left side of your mouth, what would you like to do?" The dental assistant asked as she draped a cloth over Deeks' chest.

"Ah, just don't put me under." Deeks said, and he could feel his palms begin to grow clammy. He hadn't really thought it through, but he was slowly beginning to realize that the reconstructive process was going to be eerily similar to the torture process. He had to calm himself down, fear was starting to make his skin crawl. He focused on the details, the device they would use to separate his teeth was clear and made of soft silicone, designed for comfort, not for pain. The tools gleamed bright silver and they were almost delicate, there wasn't a spot of rust on them.

"Ma'am, feel free to step out of the room, we will have him ready very soon."

"I'm fine," Kensi said, and he was filled with blessed relief.

The nurse opened his mouth gently and inserted the separator. He willed himself to relax. The dentist tested the drill and he nearly lost it. He jerked up and his heart monitor blipped a warning as he practically launched himself out of the bed.

"Deeks!" Kensi's eyes were huge and Deeks ripped the separator out of his mouth as he tried to get his breathing under control. Realization dawned in her eyes and she grabbed his hand.

"Look, I know you don't want any more drugs, but let them put you under just this one last time. You don't need to do this."

He wanted to take the out, it felt like it was too soon to face the fear, but more than anything he wanted to be back in control. He hadn't felt this out of control since he was eight years old and he would do anything to get it back.

"No, I need do this," was all he said as he put the separator back in himself. There, he could handle this. He laid back on his own accord and he knew there was nothing to hold him down if he chose to move.

He couldn't face Kensi right now, but her hand on his forearm served to calm him.

"Mr. Deeks, I'm going to administer the anesthetic by shot, are you ready?" He nodded and felt the slight pinch of the needle. She removed the syringe and filled another before injecting him with anesthetic once more. Deeks breathed in and out slowly, and felt Kensi squeeze his arm reassuringly.

"All right very good Mr. Deeks." The dentist said, his voice a pleasing timbre. "We have to drill away some of the rough edges before we can fill the holes, are you ready?" Deeks nodded. "All right, as soon as you feel any pain, raise your hand to let my assistant know." He had a flash of unbearable pain and then the memory faded. Deeks nodded again. He jolted slightly when the dentist switched on the drill and Kensi squeezed his arm.

The dentist paused for a moment, and then sensing that Deeks was calmer he lowered the drill into his mouth. _Shit_ Deeks thought as he tried not to panic. The vibration was all too familiar, the sound, the sudden loss of control. Sweat broke out on his brow and he was dimly aware that his heart monitor was beeping erratically.

"Stop." Kensi's voice was shaky and the dentist removed the drill at once.

Her eyes were rimmed with tears as she looked at him.

"Deeks, please, just let them put you under. You don't need to do this to be okay."  
Deeks reached for the separator to pull it out of his mouth.

"I have to do this Kensi, I need to face it." He knew it pained her to let him continue, but he also knew that she understood, and her eyes were dry when she nodded.

"Okay," she whispered.

Deeks put the separator back in his mouth and lay back.

The drill whined again and he tensed up. He heard the heart monitor beep a slight warning and he closed his eyes. The drill vibrated against his teeth and he clenched the sides of the bed. Flashes of being strapped to the chair made his heart explode against his ribs. Deeks' eyes popped open again and he stared fearfully at the ceiling. Panic was starting to grip him by the throat and he tried to think of something to distract him. His immediate instinct was to bring up old memories of a beach with playful seals and his mother's laugh. It was harder this time, to remember. He hadn't used the memory in so long. The child's happiness wasn't enough, it wasn't even clear any more. His chest tightened like a vise and his eyes wheeled around in his head. The memory wasn't working, he couldn't go to that beach anymore, images of his father, angry, and drunk started to bleed in with the images of his mother's laugh.  
"Deeks, you're safe, you're okay, I've got you."

Her voice, it was so gentle, it reeled him back in. He thought of the beach again but this time the woman's laughter was Kensi's. He was teaching her to surf, and she was failing miserably, but she was laughing and it was the most beautiful thing in the world. He could feel himself relaxing and he faded into the memory.

_"No, you have to jump on your knees and then stand up, try to do it all in one motion." _

_Kensi rolled her eyes and did as she was told, wiggling triumphantly on the board as she stood up. _

_"There, I did it. I could probably do it on one foot." She said, lifting a foot experimentally. "and you said surfing was hard." She scoffed. _

_"We're still on the sand." Deeks said with a pointed look. They were right at the edge of the water and he'd placed both boards on the sand in order to give her a few basic pointers before they headed into the water._

_Kensi jumped off her board and hefted it up. _

_"Fine, then let's go." _

_Deeks rolled his eyes at her impatience and hurried after her. _

_"Slow down! You can't just run in there and expect to get it, you have to learn the basics first." _

_Kensi grinned over her shoulder at him._

_"Afraid I'll win?" She mocked._

_"It's not a contest! It's about becoming one with the water, respecting the power of the ocean!" Deeks yelled over the sound of the waves. _

_"Sounds like someone's afraid I'm going to be a better surfer than he is!" Kensi said, and she dipped under an oncoming wave as fluidly and gracefully as if she'd been born in the water. _

_"I've been doing this for years baby doll! The only thing you're going to be doing is admiring my manly athleticism and panther like grace." _

_Kensi snorted and paddled faster towards the spot where a few other surfers had gathered. He shook his head. Of course she would turn this into a contest. _

_He caught up to her easily and turned her board to face the swell growing larger in the distance. _

_"We're going to catch that one, see that little dip right before the wave rises? That's the sweet spot, you wanna get right in there and then paddle hard until the wave takes you. Then when you have a good momentum going you can try and stand up, but don't worry if you can't get it the first time, all you have to worry about right now is learning to catch the wave."  
_

_Kensi watched as the wave drew closer and in tandem both she and Deeks as well as the other surfers turned their boards to face the shore. He didn't let her see when he gave her board a slight push to put her right in the perfect spot for the wave to take her. He paddled hard and caught up with her. They stood up together, their bodies moving in perfect synchronization until she wobbled and slipped from her board. He looked back and laughed as she came up sputtering behind the wave and he turned his board so that he fell into the water. _

_Deeks swam up to her with a smug grin and she glared at him. _

_"Not as easy as it looks, is it princess?"_

_"Just shut up." She said as she swam up to her board. _

_"You look good wet." He said with a wolfish grin. _

_She tried to hide the smile but he saw it anyway. _

_"Are you going you going to teach me to surf or what?"_

_"It's better if we share a board," Deeks said and they paddled to shore together so that he could prop his board in the sand before swimming back to the spot where the waves began to swell. Technically she would learn faster on her own board but he had seen an opportunity and he took it. Now they floated next to her board and he had his arms around her, showing her how to hop on and off the board while she was in the water. A swell of water had her floating snug against his chest and he found he was starting to enjoy this surfing lesson a little more than he should. _

_Kensi turned to face him and she had a knowing grin on her face. _

_"Is that an eel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" She was cracking up at her own joke even as he grimaced._

_"That would be my tactical knife," he said dryly, feeling her bump against the knife he kept strapped to his hip. _

_"What do you need a knife for in the middle of the ocean?" _

_"There are sharks." _

_"Sharks rarely attack humans," Kensi pointed out. _

_"Yes, but if they do, they attack surfers." He waited a beat. "And my eel is a lot bigger than my knife." _

_"Gross." Kensi said, pulling a face. _

_"You brought it up." _

_Kensi gave him a withering look and clambered onto the board. She sat up with her feet dangling on each side and he hung on beside her as they waited for a good wave. _

_"Are there really sharks?" She asked, looking apprehensively at the water. _

_"Shark attacked a surfer here just last week." Deeks said in mock seriousness. _

_Kensi's eyes widened marginally and he snuck his hand under the board to grab her opposite leg and tug hard. She let out a small shriek before she realized it was him and he yelped as she punched his shoulder. _

_"You idiot!" She seethed as he laughed. _

_"I'm sorry, but you should have seen your face." He said, chuckling as she splashed water at him. He wiped the water from his face and glanced back to see a huge wave starting to build behind them. _

_"Lie down," he commanded. She did as she was told and he jumped up behind her, laying over her, his head just under her shoulders as they paddled together._

_He felt the dip and the pull of the wave and he kicked hard to propel them right into the sweet spot. There was a rush of speed as the wave built momentum and shuttled them along. _

_"Get ready to stand!" He yelled, and they both crouched simultaneously. He gripped her hips to steady her and he stood with his legs on each side of her to balance the board. She let out a whoop as they were rocketed forward by the surging water. Her laughter filled the rushing air and in the moment before the wave started to slow he pulled her with him off the board, and they both fell into the water. They surfaced together with her still in his arms and his gaze fell to her mouth. Never had he wanted to kiss her more. Her lips parted and he was tempted to just say screw it all and kiss her right there but the board bumped them and the spell was broken. _

_"I want to do that again," Kensi said breathlessly. _

"Very good, almost done." The dentist said as they removed the separator from his mouth.

"We'll take a mold once that gum line is all healed up." The dentist said, referring to the now empty space where a badly damaged tooth had been. Deeks ran his tongue over his last three molars, now filled and capped. The side of his mouth was still numb, but he knew that once it wore off the only pain in his jaw would be from the bruising caused by Sidorov's fists.

"I'm going to grab a coffee." Kensi said, her voice oddly tight. She didn't wait for Deeks to reply before she practically ran from the room. He knew it must have been hard on her to watch him go through that and guilt churned in his gut. He'd made a move, finally did what he'd been aching to do for so long, and the universe had thrown him a curveball. It didn't feel right, to try and pursue something with Kensi. He wanted it, he wanted it so desperately it caused an ache in his chest, but he couldn't. He hadn't exactly been whole before, now he was so close to being broken he could barely hold himself together.

Memories were surfacing, ugly ones he thought long buried. His childhood, shooting his father, Max Gentry, the long months of undercover work that had pulled him deeper and darker every time. He couldn't bear to let that darkness touch Kensi. She was something pure, something beautiful that he didn't want to mar with the past that never really seemed to go away. Deeks shook his head, cleared it of the depressing thoughts. One thing he refused to do was let bitterness and anger consume him. He'd seen it happen before, to his mother. She had been a shell of the woman he knew when she finally killed herself. He would never let himself go that way, he refused to let Gordon win, let Sidorov win. It took strength to overcome darkness, it took even more strength to overcome it with a smile.

* * *

Kensi barely made it out of Deeks room before she had to lower herself to a chair. She'd tried her best to keep it together for him but everything in her had screamed against what she had been forced to watch. His knuckles had been white on the bed, his eyes huge and filled with fear. He'd held himself so tense the muscles in his arms had felt like corded steel. Kensi swallowed, took a deep breath. It was like watching him being tortured. They'd gathered bits and pieces from what they'd seen and what the doctors had told them, but nobody had asked Sam or Deeks about what happened yet. She'd gotten a pretty good idea of what he'd had to endure when she watched him getting his teeth fixed. It made her stomach feel raw with the horror of it all. She wanted desperately to make it better, to soothe away what had been done to him.

Kensi looked up when she saw Michelle step out of Sam's room. She carried the same weariness and worry with her.

"How is he?" Kensi asked.

"They managed to get his fever down a little." Michelle said wearily as she dropped down onto the chair beside her. "How's Deeks?"  
"Um, he's good. I think. They just got done with, the ah, the dental reconstruction. So he's, he's good." Kensi let out a shuddering breath and lowered her head to her hands. "Sorry, god sorry that was so hard to watch."

She felt a hand warm on her shoulder.

"You gotta let yourself rest." Michelle said. "If you expect yourself to be strong for him, you have to take care of yourself. Go home, get showered, sleep for a few hours. We will keep him company, distract him until you get back okay?"

Kensi shook her head.

"I don't want to leave him alone."

"Go," Michelle said sternly. "You can't keep it together all the time, believe me, I should know." Kensi met Michelle's eyes and knew she was right.

"Okay, I'll shower, grab some coffee, then I'll be back."

Michelle nodded and Kensi got to her feet.

* * *

He didn't think he'd ever felt worse. There was pain with the slightest movement, it even hurt to breathe. Sam groaned as he tried to sit up. Callen jumped up beside him and fiddled with the controls so that the bed raised him up.

"Hey, Michelle stepped out for a minute to check on the kids. How are you doing?"

Sam tried to talk but it hurt too much to force out the words. He gave Callen a thumbs down instead.

Callen nodded and called for a nurse.

The nurse bustled in and injected something into Sam's IV. Within minutes he felt his muscles relax as the grip of pain loosened its hold.

He felt a little hazy as the drugs wove through his system and watched wordlessly as Michelle came back in and Callen left.

Sam smiled at Michelle as she came to sit beside him and lifted his hand to her lips.

"Hey, you." She said with that soft smile that made his heart beat just a little faster even after almost ten years of marriage. The hours he'd spent in that room, pushed to the brink of death to protect her, he would do it again in a heartbeat, for her. She'd been through this with him before, the nightmares, the recovery, the healing process. Sam thought of Deeks again and he was filled with shame and guilt. The last he'd seen of him was when he was being dragged from the upturned SUV. He had no idea what condition he was in, or how he was handling the ordeal.

Sam tried to speak but the effort caused him to double over in a painful coughing fit.

"Don't try and talk," Michelle scolded and handed him the whiteboard as she smoothed a hand over his arm, careful to avoid the burns wrapped in gauze.

Sam scribbled Deeks' name with a question mark next to it on the board.

"He's fine, they just finished dental reconstruction, Callen and Hetty are with him now."

Sam nodded and he scribbled another question onto the board.

"I think he's having nightmares, I'm not sure how well he handled the dental surgery, but by the look on Kensi's face it wasn't good."

Sam frowned and scribbled on the board again.

"_He never gave you up, he tried to get me out." _

Michelle nodded in understanding and laid a hand on his shoulder. He was sure she could see the guilt in his eyes. She had heard the conversation between him and Deeks when they'd been staking out the park.

"You made a mistake, but it's not too late to fix it. I think he has a strength of character he doesn't let a lot of people see, I don't know why. He's a good man. I think you should tell him, I think it would mean a lot to him, coming from you."

Sam nodded, Michelle was right. She was eerily good at reading people. It was part of the reason he'd fallen in love with her. He'd been closed off, a lone wolf much like Callen, but all that had changed when he'd met her. Within months of knowing her she'd gotten right to the core of who he was, and he had never trusted anyone as much as he had trusted her. He had never meant to become involved with her, never meant to fall irreversibly in love with her, but fate had brought them together, and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. She brought to life a light in him that he thought had died long ago in the horrors of what he'd experienced as a Navy SEAL.

The guilt he felt over the last words he'd spoken to Deeks weighed heavily on him, but he would make it right. He would make sure that Deeks would not be alone in pushing through the mental after effects of the torture. He would make sure to tell Deeks that he was sorry he hadn't seen who he really was.

* * *

He'd been released from the hospital with strict orders to rest for two weeks and come in for a follow up appointment a week from Tuesday. Kensi drove him home and he stared blankly at the paper that listed all his appointments, briefings, and weekly psych evaluations. Those would be easy enough to fool. Feed the shrink enough lies and eventually even you started to believe them. Kensi eased her car up the driveway to his loft and jumped out, ready to help him if he needed it.

"Kens, I'm fine." Deeks said, giving her shoulder a slight squeeze as they made their way up to his apartment.

They stepped inside his apartment and Monty practically launched himself into Deeks' arms, lathering his face with kisses before jumping over to Kensi who bent down and scratched behind his ears as he danced around their legs.

"I took him out while you were in the hospital," Kensi said as she dropped a kiss on Monty's head.

"Thanks," Deeks said, grateful that Monty hadn't been trapped inside while he'd been captured and hospitalized.

His loft looked exactly as he'd left it a few mornings ago, with the exception of a fine coating of dust that had settled.

"I can stay if you need me to, I'll take the couch." Kensi said.

His eyes fell on the bruise he'd left on her arm.

"I'm good."

Kensi bit her lip nervously and looked around.

"Okay, well um. I guess I'll go then."

"Okay," Deeks said giving her a half hearted smile.

Kensi crossed her arms and uncrossed them before huffing out a breath and looking at him. Suddenly he knew exactly what she was about to say, and there was a painful stabbing in his chest as he knew what he had to do.

"I uh. I almost lost you, and I know this is probably the worst time to bring this up, but if I don't I think I-"

"I shouldn't have kissed you." Deeks blurted out.

Her mouth parted and the eyes that met his were filled with shocked confusion and hurt. She trusted him, had trusted him. Enough so that she had never expected him to hurt her, and that made it all the more painful to watch.

"Oh." She stood there, unmoving and he wished she would do something, punch him, yell at him, anything but stand there and look so vulnerable.

"I should never have crossed the line like that, and I'm sorry," he said.

Her eyes met his again, demanded the truth, but when he just stood there, she stepped back, nodded. He could practically see her walls coming back up, and that made him feel a million times worse. He'd picked at her, pushed and prodded and charmed his way over those walls until she'd trusted him with more than she'd trusted anyone else. He was good at that, gaining people's trust, it's what made him so good at what he did, but he had never expected to have to break the trust he'd built with Kensi.

"We good?" He asked

"Yup," Kensi said with a painfully false smile. She held up her keys "I'm gonna go, call me if you need anything."

The door slammed behind her as she left, a sure sign they were probably not 'good'."

Monty let out a low whine and met Deeks' eyes with a soulful look.

"Yeah, I know." Deeks said, watching Kensi walk to her car, tires screeching as she sped off.

It wasn't supposed to feel like someone had ripped out a piece of him, a piece he seemed to desperately need. Deeks scoffed. He sounded like one of those depressed poets that liked to skulk around in gardens and make metaphors about flowers and broken bird wings.

Monty's tail slapped excitedly against his leg and Deeks looked down to see that his attention had drifted to a squirrel scrambling up the wall.

"So much for emotional support huh? You ever heard of the term man's best friend?" Deeks asked with mock disappointment.

Monty let out a sharp bark as Deeks let him out on the small patio to sniff after the squirrel that scampered out of sight.

* * *

**A/N: Erm, don't hate me? The reason I had Deeks react this way was because it felt the most natural to me. In episode 4x23 we saw a darker side of Deeks, and we had Monica mention something about his past (the implication was it was not good). I do plan on exploring that but don't worry I'm not going to make it too dark and angsty, the show keeps a good balance between drama and lightness and I would like to keep to that theme. As for the future of Densi, all I can say is, Densi is endgame, but they just have a few more obstacles to overcome. :)**

**Next chapter:**** Starts off 1 month later, expect some tension between Kensi and Deeks, Sam and Deeks have some good stuff coming up, and Sidorov will make an appearance again. Also, since Sam is still on light duty, expect to see some more of Nell in the field. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to all reviewers and followers! Special thanks to guest reviewers, Star, Anonymous, and Karen, as well as other unnamed guest reviewers. **

**1 month later**

* * *

Callen stopped in front of Sam's desk and dropped a stack of origami paper sloppily tied with ribbon on it. Sam was already grumbling about being on light duty but Hetty absolutely refused to let him do any fieldwork until his lungs and burns were fully healed. Callen stared at the empty desk. He'd never minded working alone, in fact he was hard pressed to work with a partner in the first place, but he'd missed working with Sam. They had a rapport and a sense of trust that just didn't happen for him with anyone else. In the four weeks Sam had been home recovering he'd been paired with Nell or even Kensi on occasion, and while they were great agents and he respected their work, they weren't Sam.

Callen took the stairs two at a time and walked into OPS where Nell and Eric were huddled closely over the computer. He spied the familiar blue of an Oreo wrapper in the trash can and cleared his throat. Eric jumped, blinking erratically, and Nell gave him a look before turning around smoothly to face Callen.

"Hi," her smile was all innocence next to Eric's shiftiness.

"You've got something," Callen said, gesturing to the corner of Eric's mouth. Nell reached over and wiped the crumbs away with her thumb.

"Don't tell Hetty," Eric pleaded.

"Don't tell Hetty what?" the voice that came over the intercom held a slight note of amusement.

"Ah, um. I, don't. Hetty?"

"If I find even one crumb on the desk when I get up there I will hold you personally responsible Mr. Beale." Hetty said sternly, although Callen knew she was secretly amused.

Hetty had the uncanny ability to know everything that went on around her and the only way you got anything by her was if she let you think you were getting something by her.

Eric scrambled for the air duster and there was the occasional burst of pressurized air as he blasted away the offending Oreo crumbs.

"Glad to know nothing has changed around here," a familiar voice said.

Callen turned around and grinned as Sam walked into OPS

"Welcome back partner." He said as he grabbed him in an embrace.

"Good to be back." Sam said, smiling as Nell rushed to give him a hug.

Eric gave him a welcoming salute and returned to his cleaning.

"Deeks around?" Sam asked casually, but Callen could see the guilt brewing behind his eyes.

"Following up on a lead with Kensi . Sidorov is still underground, but we managed to track down one of his potential buyers."

"He's still trying to sell the nukes?" Sam asked, walking over to the big screen where they had posted any information they had on Sidorov.

"Looks like. My guess is he's holed up somewhere and he's trying desperately to get rid of the nukes and make enough of a profit so he can disappear for a good long time."

Sam shook his head.

"We have no way in, almost our entire team has been made, and even if Kensi or Nell could find an in, there's no way Sidorov is going to trust an outsider now."

"That's why we're infiltrating Los Zetas." Callen said.

"Los Zetas?" Sam asked incredulously. "No way Los Zetas pulls in an outsider, they're tight knit, and since when does a Mexican drug cartel have an interest in nukes?"

Nell pulled up a file on the screen.

"Miguel Ángel Treviño Morales, seized power from Heriberto Lazcano, former leader of Los Zetas in late August of 2012. Since then the cartel has grown increasingly violent and erratic. Mexican authorities have placed several military bases in their territory, and word on the street is Morales is looking to flush them out."

Sam walked up to the screen and studied the various newspaper clippings and files narrating the cartels hits and attacks.

"We have reason to believe he's posing as a businessman by the name of David Estrada-Corado, Nell and Eric have tracked him to a neighborhood in Westchester."

Sam turned around with a frown.

"How do we know Sidorov's meeting with him?"

"We spotted his man, Michael Zhrof at the same club where Los Zetos is said to run one of their California based operations."

A pre-recorded clip of footage played out on the screen. Zhrof seemed to be on the phone and he paced back and forth for about a minute or so before being approached by a man. They spoke for a few moments before shaking hands and parting ways. Nell stopped the clip.

"We think Los Zetas may have had a part in helping Sidorov smuggle the first bomb across the Mexican border."

"How? Since when is Sidorov selling to the cartel?"

"We think he had them on as backup. They can't pay the price a smaller, richer country can, but when he's in a pinch, they're a valid option. Like you said before, Sidorov will sell to anyone, especially if he's desperate."

"Even if Los Zetas is the most powerful cartel in Mexico, how are they going to scrape together the funds for a nuke at 20 mil a pop? Much less two nukes?"

"Los Zetas has its fingers in lot more pies than we originally thought." Hetty said from the doorway.

"Welcome back Sam," she said, grabbing one of his hands in hers. "It's so good to have you well again."

"Thank you Hetty."

She nodded.

"Nell, pull up the map."

A satellite map of Southern California and the northern part of Mexico popped up on the screen. Nell made a few adjustments and a web of interconnected yellow dots ranging from Nuevo Laredo to Los Angeles appeared.

"Under Morales' leadership Los Zetas has expanded beyond Mexico and into Southern California. They've expanded their interests to include human trafficking, gunrunning, and extortion. Morales has eyes and ears in several agencies including the DEA and LAPD." Nell stopped, pulled up another screen.

"DEA names Los Zetas as the most dangerous criminal organization operating in the southern hemisphere. They're highly sophisticated and extremely volatile."

Nell swiped across her tablet and a group of pictures popped up.

"Most of them are deserters from the Mexican Army, many from the same special forces team, making them highly skilled and extremely dangerous."

Nell looked to Hetty.

"Agent Blye and Detective Deeks are running surveillance on the house where Morales is staying, we're hoping to infiltrate the Los Zetas organization using Mr. Deeks, LAPD status." Hetty said.

"Both Sidorov and Mikhael know Deeks' face." Sam said with a frown.

"Yes, that has been taken into consideration. It is highly unlikely that Mr. Deeks will rise high enough in the ranks to be present at the time of the weapons exchange. Our goal is to intercept the nukes once they've been handed over to Los Zetas, and disable them during transport."

"Solid plan." Sam said.

"It's a risky one," Hetty replied.

"What part do Callen and I play?"

"You are on light duty for two more weeks Agent Hanna."

"The doctor cleared me for duty,"

"I believe you were only cleared for duty because you intimidated the attending physician. Two more weeks Agent Hanna." Hetty said, her tone indicating that was final.

"He does get cranky when people tell him what to do." Callen quipped, grunting when Sam punched him hard on the arm.

"Yeah, tough guy? Twenty bucks says I can still beat your mile time."

"I've been practicing," Callen said.

"All right, let's go, right now."

Knowing full well that Sam would leave him in the dust, Callen stepped back and feigned disinterest.

"I had a big lunch."

Sam smirked.

"Sure you did."

They made their way down to their desks and Sam grinned in delight when he spied the gift on his desk.

"You got me a present G?"

"Figured it would keep you busy while you're on desk duty."

"Look, it even has a ribbon. You missed me," Sam said, a knowing grin crossing his face.

Callen shrugged his shoulders, already uncomfortable with the gesture.

"You did, I saw you smile when I walked into OPS."

"I wasn't smiling, I was thinking of a funny joke." Callen retorted.

"Uh huh. It's okay, I missed you too partner."

* * *

Kensi let out a slow breath as she stared out the car window. Nothing much was happening outside of the house where Morales and his men were staying. Every now and then they would see a guard patrolling the area outside of the house, but Morales remained inside. She stole a glance at her partner and blinked in surprise when she found he was staring straight at her.

"See anything?" He asked, gesturing to the binoculars in her lap.

"Shades are drawn." Kensi said.

Deeks nodded and they lapsed into silence again. It had been like this all week since he'd been back. Awkward silences, clipped sentences. For the first time since they'd become partners they were actually remaining strictly professional. It sucked.

He'd taken off for three weeks without a word to anyone. She'd called twice, and hung up before she could call a third time. He never called back. Telling her the kiss had been a mistake had hurt, not trusting her, pushing her away, that had hurt even more. She'd spent exactly one miserable evening drowning her sorrows in triple chocolate ice cream, and then she'd gotten over it.

Or at least that's what she told herself. Even she couldn't deny that her heart had jumped up in her chest and sat there, quivering, when he walked into the Mission after three weeks. She'd welcomed him back as if nothing had changed, and he'd given her the same charming smile he had every morning. Except then everything changed.

They didn't hang out after work anymore, he didn't send her those stupid texts of him modeling random fashion items street vendors sold at Venice beach, and they hadn't cracked a joke between them since he'd been back. For as long as they'd been partners she'd been telling him to be more serious, but now that he was, she found she missed the stupid jokes, the silly banter, the way he could make her laugh at even the most ridiculous times.

There was a little pang in her chest when she looked at him now. He was still so much the same, but his eyes looked strained, and some mornings he looked like he hadn't slept at all. She guessed that he was still having dreams, she wouldn't know, he didn't really talk to her anymore.

"I'm gonna do another walk-around." Kensi said, feeling a sudden urge to get away from him.

"I'm coming with you."

"No it's fine, I'm just going to check if I can see anything else from the back."

"I'm coming with you," Deeks repeated.

Deciding not to argue, Kensi resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead walked towards the small jogging trail that looped up and around and eventually behind the house where Morales was hiding. They walked the trail in silence and Kensi crouched behind a bush and pulled out her binoculars. One of the shades was halfway open and she felt a rush of excitement as she saw movement inside. She swept her binoculars to scan the lawn and spied the two guards talking on the front porch. They switched to the back of the house every five minutes, and since they hadn't been there earlier she guessed she had about three minutes to try and get closer to the house and snap a few surveillance pictures.

She shoved her binoculars into Deeks' hands.

"Hold these," she said and scrambled out from behind the bush.

"What are you doing?" Deeks hissed.

"Taking surveillance pictures," Kensi replied, holding up the camera.

"No, Hetty gave us strict instructions not to approach the house."

"I'll be fast, watch my back," Kensi said and jogged down the hill before he could argue. She imagined he was muttering in frustration and she didn't bother to pretend she wasn't a little satisfied by that.

Kensi moved quickly and crouched below the window. She peeked slowly into the window, there was a book case or some sort of shelf hiding her from view and she took a few quick shots before crouching back down and scanning through the photos. She'd gotten partial facial shots of all but three men. Kensi moved up again slowly and snapped a few more pictures, pausing to check if she'd captured any new faces.

Suddenly there was the sound of voices not far from her and she froze. Kensi barely had time to react before a hand closed over her arm and she was being dragged around a corner. Twigs and branches raked across her skin as she was shoved into a small space between some dense shrubbery and a wall.

"Be quiet," Deeks whispered, his breath fluttering warm against her ear. The voices drew closer and she felt Deeks shift against her as he reached for his gun. From their hiding spot Kensi could make out two men, weapons barely concealed. It looked like it was the same two guards who had been chatting out front earlier. They moved to the edge of the back yard and Kensi saw them scanning the trees and bushes that lined the jogging trail where they had been just moments ago. They seemed satisfied and turned back to each other and continued their conversation. As the adrenaline faded she became very aware of her proximity to Deeks. He still had an arm around her waist and she was plastered against his chest. She could feel her heart beginning to thump erratically again and it had nothing to do with the fear of being seen. He looked down at her suddenly and she saw him clench his jaw before he shifted a little so that he could move his arm. Kensi tried to step away, but a loose rock had her clutching his shoulder for balance and his hand came up to her hip to steady her. They froze, watching the guards talking animatedly with each other.

"Where are your keys?" He asked, his mouth inches from her jaw.

"My pocket," Kensi said, shifting so that her thigh bumped up against his and slipped between his legs as she tried to maneuver her arm so she could reach into her back pocket for the keys. She felt his fingers tighten on her hip and grabbed the keys, pushing herself against the wall to try to keep as much distance between them as possible.

He didn't look at her as he pressed the panic button on the key fob. Nothing happened. He frowned, then glanced once more at the guards before leaning out of the bushes and jamming the panic button again. This time her car alarm went off loudly and he barely squeezed back between the bushes before the guards turned around again. They seemed disturbed by the sound and looked at each other, discussed something and walked around to the front of the house again.

Deeks kept a solid grip on her arm as he shoved her out ahead of him. They sprinted out from behind their cover and ran for the jogging trail, diving behind some low lying shrubbery. Deeks hit a small black button to silence the alarm and they lay in the damp dirt, catching their breaths. Kensi felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and winced when she saw Hetty's name light up the screen.

"Hello?" Kensi said quietly.

"Why are you out of breath Miss Blye?"

"Um,"

"You didn't stay in the car did you?"

"No," Kensi said grudgingly.

The long pause told her exactly what Hetty thought of her impromptu recon mission.

"Very well, please head to the mission as soon as possible for a team debrief."

"We're on our way." Kensi said, and she motioned for Deeks to follow her. He gave her a questioning look.

"Team meeting," she told him.

They made their way back to the car and glanced around for any sign of Morales' men. The front yard was empty so they got into the car and closed the doors quietly before Kensi turned the key and eased into the street. They rode to the mission in silence and she turned on the radio just so there was some sort of noise to fill the void.

"Wonder what we're meeting about," Deeks said after a while.

"Don't know." Kensi replied.

They fell silent again.

Kensi stopped the car and Deeks immediately unbuckled himself and go out. He walked ahead of her and she remained a moment to compose herself. She was starting to get angry. He was always talking about trust, about partners having each other's backs, and now that it actually mattered, now that he actually _needed_ someone, he was pushing her away. It was frustrating, and it made her feel like maybe he never really trusted her in the first place. Kensi swallowed the hurt that lodged in her chest and got out of the car. She was surprised to see him waiting at the door for her.

"You good?" He asked.

"Fantastic," Kensi said sarcastically as she brushed past him. Sam was standing by Callen's desk, and she felt a jolt of happiness to see him standing there, talking energetically with Callen when only a few weeks back he had struggled just to sit up.

"Sam!" she grinned and wrapped her arms around him in a hard hug. "Welcome back."

"Great to be back." Sam said, and she saw his face change as he saw Deeks.

Kensi stepped back and frowned at the way Deeks didn't meet Sam's eyes and he barely smiled when he shook his hand.

"Welcome back," he said

"Thanks," Sam replied, his voice oddly void of emotion.

Before Kensi could linger too long on the tangible chill between Sam and Deeks, Eric whistled for them.

"We've got something."

They made their way up to OPS and there was a little shuffle as both Kensi and Deeks reached the landing at the same time. He pressed a hand to the small of her back as he had a hundred times before but this time she stiffened and he snatched his hand back. Kensi pressed her lips together in a thin line and moved ahead of him.

Hetty was waiting for them up in OPS and the live feed they'd set up to track any cartel movements at the club was playing in the corner of the big screen.

Nell pulled up a screen capture of Zhrof talking with a member of the cartel.

"That's Alejandro Morales, brother of Miguel Morales. He's a high level leader in the cartel and responsible for several murders and kidnappings carried out in Nuevo Laredo between 2005 and 2006."

"We have reasonable evidence to believe that Sidorov will sell the nuclear weapons to Morales. Morales has been moving money from multiple banks totaling up to about 30 million."

Deeks let out a low whistle.

"That's a lot of money for a Mexican cartel to be shelling out."

"Morales has grown increasingly volatile and dangerous since taking over last year. He's sharp, and a ruthless businessman. In just under a year he's grown the cartel's reach beyond Mexico and into Southern California, and some parts of Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico. Morales seems to have a gift for finding corrupt officials, and he's been able to gain control of a large portion of the drug trafficking coming in from Mexico."

Hetty turned back to the team.

"Covers are being built right now, and I want you all to be ready to go when the deal goes down. I believe Sidorov is getting desperate, and the deal could go down in a matter of weeks or a matter of days." She turned to face Kensi.

"Miss Blye, starting tonight, you will be paying regular visits to the bar at the club, be subtle, but make sure to be noticed by any key cartel members. We've already got identification set up for you as Isabella Alcala." She turned to Nell. "Miss Jones, have you ever waitressed before?"

"Paid my way through college," Nell said with a smile.

"Excellent, it just so happens two of La Granada's waitresses will be arrested for possession of illegal narcotics tonight, courtesy of the LAPD." Hetty turned to wink at Deeks, he smirked.

"Mr. Callen, I want you in the club strictly to observe and serve as backup for Nell and Kensi. Mr. Hanna, you will be assisting Eric in OPS until further notice. Now, I've sent your cover stories to your computer, brush up on your backgrounds and meet me in wardrobe in an hour." They turned to leave but Hetty called Deeks' name.

"Just a moment of your time, Mr. Deeks."

Kensi looked from Hetty to Deeks and hesitated before turning to join the others. She had a sinking feeling something was going to happen.

* * *

"I was wondering why I didn't get a cool cover story," Deeks said with a grin.

"You missed your last two meetings with your appointed psychiatrist." Hetty said.

"Ah, yeah." Deeks grimaced and scratched his head. "I don't think it's helping."

"How would you know if you haven't gone?"

"I went to the first one."

"Yes, in which you remained cagey and evasive. Mr. Wells suggested you would benefit from additional sessions."

"Look, Hetty. I'm fine, okay. I don't need the shrink."

"Miss one more appointment and I will put you on desk duty." Hetty said, her expression stern.

Deeks swallowed his retort and stared at the floor. Truth was, the shrink was good. He went straight for the throat and left you reeling before you had a chance to build up any sort of defense.

"Understood." He said.

"Wonderful," Hetty handed him a file. "We have reason to believe there are several members of the LAPD who are under Morales' influence. You will be transferred to the gangs and drugs unit." She peered up at him. "This has the potential to become a long term undercover operation that will keep you out of contact with the team for the duration of the investigation."

Deeks frowned, and opened the file, inside was a letter of resignation and all the appropriate paperwork to sever all ties with NCIS. He felt a quick punch of emotion at the thought of being separated from the team, but shoved it down.

" Are you ready to work on your own again, ?" Hetty asked.

He opened his mouth to reply but she held up a hand.

"I will expect an answer by this evening, take some time to think about it."

Deeks frowned, Hetty was being oddly cryptic.

She dismissed him and he walked slowly down the stairs. He dropped the file on his desk and turned to face Kensi who was reading through her cover identity. He opened his mouth to say something, but when she suddenly looked up at him the casual comment died on his tongue.

"What?" She asked suspiciously.

"Just thinking," Deeks said

Kensi frowned at him for a moment but then rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the computer.

"Yeah," she muttered under her breath, glaring at the screen.

Deeks clenched his jaw in frustration and walked out of the room. He didn't need to think about the assignment, he was definitely going to take it. He needed distance, time to get himself together. He was only hurting Kensi by staying. He would miss her, he missed her like crazy the three weeks he had taken to surf down in Cancun, and only the memory of bruises on her skin kept him from calling her. Staying meant navigating this weird new place they were at in their partnership and friendship, and he just couldn't deal with that. Not when just being near her twisted him up on the inside.

He changed into the workout shorts he kept in his personal locker and taped up his hands before heading for the punching bag that hung in the gym. He would have preferred taking his board out, but Hetty frowned on surfing during work hours and he wasn't about to push his luck any further. The first punch sent a shockwave up his arm and he adjusted his position, hit again. The thwack of his fists made a sort of rhythm on the bag, punctuated by a burst of breath after every fourth punch. His knuckles started to burn as the skin became raw and broken, he kept hitting anyway. He'd started increasing his workout routine, running farther, lifting heavier, surfing longer, so that by the time he crawled into his bed he was too tired to dream. It worked most of the time, except when it didn't.

Deeks leaned into the punch, and felt the warm well of blood as the skin on his knuckles split. When it didn't work, he woke up drenched in sweat and irrationally afraid that somehow they would find him again, and this time he wouldn't get out. Deeks slammed his fist into the bag and bit back a curse as pain radiated up his hand.

"You're hitting the bag wrong."

Deeks whirled around to find Sam leaning in the doorway watching him. He felt the already simmering anger surge up and he shoved the bag out of his way before he headed for the door.

"You come to finish telling me what else is wrong with me?" he asked, his voice ripe with sarcasm.

"I came to apologize."

"I don't want your damn apology."

"Well you're going to hear it," Sam said, grabbing his arm and shoving him back a full step. Deeks had to admit, even recovering, Sam was still ridiculously strong.

"I should never have questioned your character."

"Doesn't matter," Deeks said with an irritable shrug of his shoulder.

"Matters to me." Sam said.

"Look, I get it, we all say things we don't mean sometimes."

"No, I meant it."

"Wow, you really suck at apologies."

Sam gave him a look, "I meant it, but I was wrong. I should have known better, that you can never really know a man's character unless you get to know the man. I never gave you that chance, and I regret it. You were prepared to sacrifice your life for mine, when I didn't deserve it, and I won't forget that."

Deeks stared at the floor. Something inside of him shifted, settled into place.

"You kept me going when I was in there," he said finally.

Sam nodded and walked towards the bag, gesturing for Deeks to join him.

"You had my back, I'd like the chance to repay that." He slapped a hand on the bag.

"You don't owe me anything." Deeks said,

Sam was quiet and he stepped up to the bag, throwing a few light punches. The silence became awkward and Deeks wondered if he should stay or leave when Sam turned back to him.

"I'm going to show you something, a little technique my SEAL team leader taught me."

It was a gesture of friendship, and Deeks stepped up to the bag, threw a couple of quick jabs.

"Are you going to show me the Peruvian Necktie?"

"The what?"

"The Peruvian Necktie, Callen said you do this thing called the Peruvian Necktie that lets you knock out a guy in under three seconds."

Sam looked confused for a moment and then he smirked.

"Were you irritating Callen at the time?"

"Hmmm, possibly."

"Well there's your answer."

Sam moved beside Deeks and shifted into a fighting stance.

"This here's one of my favorite moves when taking down a hostile suspect. Come at me."

Deeks hesitated, Sam's "lessons" were not usually pleasant.

"What, you want me to just-" he sidestepped and lunged at Sam from the side, and was on his back before he realized what was happening.

"Nice try, get up."

"No thanks," Deeks said, grunting as he got up again.

"Okay, now what you do is, you sidestep when they throw a punch at you, use their momentum to push them off balance, and then you wrap your arm around their head like this, twist, and push down." Sam reenacted the movements in slow motion.

"Now you try," Sam said, and his fist was hurtling at Deeks' face before he finished speaking.

Deeks managed to dodge the blow, but just barely.

"At least you have good reflexes, try again."

This time Deeks was able to push Sam's arm down but he fumbled the head grab and Sam knocked him off his feet.

"Better, again."

There was the sound of grunts and oaths as the men grappled, and each time Deeks found the movements just a little easier to repeat. Sam lunged at him once more and this time Deeks was able to knock Sam to the ground, albeit not as smoothly or quickly as Sam did.

"Oh! What! The student beat the ma-" his victory speech ended on a grunt as Sam swept his foot under his legs.

Sam jumped up and grinned down at Deeks.

"What were you saying about the student teaching the master?"

Deeks grabbed the proffered hand and grinned as Sam pulled him up.

"You still having dreams?"

The unexpected question knocked him off balance

"It's not as bad anymore." Deeks lied.

"Worse then?"

Deeks stared at Sam.

"I thought it's supposed to get better, that's what everyone says. Eventually it gets better."

Sam shook his head.

"Not if you keep going at it alone. You need to talk to someone."

Deeks grimaced.

"The shrink isn't helping, sitting in that office makes me feel… stuck."

"Shrink never helped me either. Maybe for some people, but not for me, I need to trust someone before I talk to them. "

Deeks nodded, leaned against the wall.

"Yeah maybe that's my problem."

"The first time I was captured they kept me for almost a week, I was blindfolded, never knew when the next hit was going to come. My team eventually found me, pulled me out. Next six months were probably the worst. I was barely sleeping, just couldn't seem to connect with anyone, so I pushed the people I cared about away. Tried to fix myself before I let anyone get close to me. That was a mistake."

"But you got better right?" Deeks asked, barely able to keep the desperation from his voice.

"Had a buddy, he just kept pushing at me. Asking questions, checking up on me. I wanted to punch him out most of the time, but he saved me."

"I just can't seem to level out. Just when I think I'm finally getting a handle on things I'll have another dream and it puts me right back in that room."

"I know."

"You're having dreams too?"

"Dreams, flashbacks, phantom pains. It takes a while to get back to normal, but it will come a hell of a lot faster if you've got good people around you." Sam paused, seemed to consider." Maybe I'm not someone you can trust right now, but I've been there, I know how it feels. If you need someone, I'm here."

"Appreciate it." Deeks said.

Sam nodded, and paused before turning back to Deeks.

"I tried to push Michelle away to protect her. I almost lost her in the end, that would have been a mistake too."

Deeks stared after Sam as he walked out of the room.

* * *

Kensi was standing at her desk when he walked back to the main floor. He paused for a moment and just looked his fill. She wore a clingy dress in deep purple and her hair hung in a sexy tumble of curls around her face. Deeks considered waiting until she left to go see Hetty, but Sam's words echoed in his head and he walked towards her.

"Nice dress," he said casually, stopping in his tracks when she turned around. Angry would be a kind word for the fury that burned in her eyes. She said nothing as she stared at him, her gaze dropping to his bloodied knuckles and then back up again.

"What happened to your hands?" She asked, her tone dangerously calm.

"Argument with the punching bag, I lost."

She didn't even crack a smile at his sorry attempt at a joke. He shifted uncomfortably and she just shook her head and stalked to his desk, snatching up the file and slapping it to his chest.

"Where you planning on telling me about this or were you just going to disappear again?"

Suddenly he understood.

"I wasn't going to, no." he said honestly.

For just a moment he saw hurt shimmer in her eyes, and then it was gone, replaced by full blown anger.

"Well, then, I guess this is goodbye." She snapped, and brushed past him.

He grabbed her wrist.

"I'm not taking it."

She stopped for a moment, searching his eyes, and then snatched her arm from his grip.

"Whatever" she said, and he was left staring at her desk as she walked away.

A moment later he heard a thunk and turned to see an ice pack on his desk and Kensi's retreating form. Well, that was something at least, he thought as he held the ice to his knuckles.

* * *

Hetty watched the two agents part ways and shook her head, it always amazed her how blind two people in love could be. She watched Deeks come up the stairs and knew he was coming to see her, so she flipped off the footage and pretended to be studying the screen holding information on the cartel.

"Yes Mr. Deeks?"

"I've thought it over."

"And?"  
"I don't think I'm ready to work on my own just yet."

She turned around with a smile, and Deeks shook his head, laughed.

"But you already knew that didn't you?"

"I had hoped that would be your decision."

"It was all just a test then?"

"Yes, I do apologize."

"Why?"

"The first step towards healing is admitting you can't do it alone. My only wish was that you would come to recognize that, and it seems as if you have."

She watched him carefully. He wore the strain of what must have been a hellish few weeks clearly on his face. He wasn't one to talk about his feelings easily, especially when they were feelings that caused him pain. Hetty didn't usually like to deceive her agents, but sometimes she had to take actions to make them face something they normally wouldn't. She was pleased to see that some of hardness had left his eyes.

"Where do I go from here?" He finally asked.

"Salsa lessons," Hetty said with a flourish.

"What?" He gave her a puzzled frown.

"Salsa lessons, the Granada is a social dancing club, you will need to be able to keep up with Miss Blye."

"Kensi knows how to Salsa?"

"Not at all, she will be joining you."

"Fantastic," there wasn't much enthusiasm in his tone.

Hetty watched as he frowned over the prospect of dance classes and chuckled to herself. It wasn't strictly necessary for them to learn the traditional social dance, but she was not above giving them a little nudge in the right direction, especially when they were both being so stubborn.

* * *

**A/N: Because we all know Hetty is captain of the Densi ship. ;P **

**Next Chapter: The team will try to infiltrate Los Zetas and find the bombs, but we all know plans don't always work out as they should.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: First of all, sorry this update is so late! I was down with the flu and let me tell you, writing while on cold medicine is almost never a good idea. But this chapter is extra long so I hope that will make up for it! **

**Second, thank you, thank you to all of you for reading, reviewing, and sending me PM's you guys are awesome and amazing and fantastic and I love hearing from you. I definitely feel like it improves my writing so thank you to all of you. **

**Thank you to all anonymous reviewers: Star, Greta, and guest! **

* * *

Kensi tried not to roll her eyes at the man currently trying to chat her up. Eric was running him through a facial recognition scan and all she had to do was keep him chatting with her until they could confirm if he was a part of Los Zetas.

"Cut him loose, he's just a creep in a cheap suit." Eric's voice came over her earwig.

"I'm sorry, but I'm waiting for my date," Kensi said, turning her back to the man. She signaled to the waitress and practically sighed in relief when the guy left.

"Please tell me there's some alcohol in that." Kensi whispered to Nell as she reached for the virgin margarita.

"If there was I would be drinking it," Nell said, gesturing to her tight fitting servers outfit with disgust.

Kensi grinned.

"Eric seemed to like it."

There was a cough in her ear and Kensi smothered the laugh bubbling in her throat. She turned back to the bar and took a sip of her margarita and grimaced. It could really use the alcohol. Kensi pushed the drink to the side and looked up in surprise when the bartender slid a shot over to her.

"One Partida Elegante Anejo for the lady, courtesy of the gentleman over there." The bartender said, and Kensi didn't even have to turn around to know who had sent the drink.

"You miss me Fern?" Deeks voice came over her earwig.

Kensi bit back the smile threatening to bloom and reminded herself that she was supposed to be pissed at him. She turned around to see Deeks holding his shot up in a salute and then tossing it back before gesturing for her to come over. Although they didn't often drink on assignment, sometimes to keep their cover it was necessary to bend the rules a bit.

Kensi tossed back the shot and let out a slow breath as the expensive Tequila warmed its way down. She set the tumbler down and walked across the floor to where Deeks was leaning against a table and tossed her hair flirtatiously.

"Is that how you charm all the girls, send them expensive drinks?"

Deeks grinned. "Only you Fern, only you."

"My name is Isabella," Kensi said, leaning forward in mock flirtation. "Try not to blow our cover on the first night."

"Actually, if I remember correctly, last time you were the one who blew our cover." Deeks pointed out.

"_Actually_," Kensi said, laying her hand on his forearm, "you blew our cover when you grabbed my butt." She dug her fingernails into his skin and fluttered her eyelashes flirtatiously when he cleared his throat to cover the yelp of pain.

"You know I like to go method when I'm undercover." Deeks said, gently prying her hand from his arm and pressing his lips to her knuckles.

Kensi pulled her hand from his grip and tried to cover her irritation with a flirty giggle. The resulting sound was a little more maniacal and a lot less playful.

"Wow, that was frightening, please never do that again." Deeks said and caught her wrist before she could dig her perfectly manicured nails into his skin again.

"Retract the claws kitten, you're supposed to be interested in me," he said, and moved so that she was trapped between him and the table. "Is that so hard?"

"It is when I'm trying to suppress my gag reflex," Kensi said with a snort.

Deeks laughed and his gaze dropped to her lips. The moment changed, heated, and then Deeks stepped back and cleared his throat.

"You uh, spot any cartel members yet?" He asked, and his tone carried none of the warmth it had earlier.

Kensi swallowed to clear her thoughts "Yeah, small group in the VIP lounge, mostly lower level guys."

"Mmm..." Deeks scanned the room casually, idly stroking a thumb along the side of her wrist. "My guess is they only come out for the big events, more people, easier to hide illicit gatherings. Like Latin Tuesdays," his gaze fell on the board advertising the social event. "A night of social dancing." he read. "Looks like we're going to have to take those Salsa lessons after all."

"Salsa lessons?" Kensi asked in dismay.

"Yep, part of our cover, Hetty's orders."

"Did Hetty forget how much you suck at dancing?"

"I'll have you know I'm actually a fantastic dancer, and if you had let me lead last time I could have wowed you with my awesome dancing skills."

"Was that what you were doing, when you kept stepping on my feet?"

"Okay we already went over this, you were kicking your feet under mine, because you kept trying to lead."

"I was trying to lead you away from my feet."

"If you didn't have to control everything it w-"

"Could you guys just stop I'm starting to get a headache." Callen interrupted wearily.

Kensi bit back the retort on her tongue and tried not to look like she wanted to strangle her partner. Deeks leaned over to her with a slow grin.

"Okay, well why don't you just do another one of those freaky little giggles and give me your number so we can get out of here." He moved his arm back a safe distance.

"Yeah I don't think I'm that into you."

"Please, you're practically head over heels."

"More like I want to shove a heel up your-"

"Give him the number Kensi," Callen said.

"Fine," Kensi said with a forced smile, drawing a rough doodle of a hand holding up the middle finger on a napkin before sliding it over to Deeks. "Call me," she said sweetly.

His lips twitched into a smile as he looked at the napkin and tucked it into his back pocket before tracing a finger along her jaw.

"You can count on it princess."

* * *

Nell hid her amusement as she overheard Kensi and Deeks bickering. At least that was somewhat back to normal, it hadn't been hard to miss the palpable tension between the two these past few weeks. She sidestepped the grabby drunk to her left and stepped up to the bar again.

"I need two martini's extra dry, no olives, and a gin and tonic."

Her feet were throbbing from the ice picks they had the waitresses tottering around on and if she had to swat away one more groping hand she was going to use the knife tucked into the sheath on her thigh. She'd maneuvered her way into serving the small group of cartel members sitting up in the VIP area and now she walked towards them, balancing the drinks carefully on the tray as she walked. The men spoke rapid Spanish and she feigned ignorance, even though she was fluent. Their conversation turned to her for a brief moment and she had to paste a blank look on her face even if the comments were enough to make her blush.

"I don't think Nell should be alone with those men," Eric said over her com in a heated voice.

"Nell can handle herself," Kensi said, and though she appreciated the vote of confidence from Kensi at least, she really wished they would stop talking about her like she wasn't there.

The men lost interest in her for the moment and their conversation drifted back to the drug deal they were discussing.

The men who sat there were mostly young and from their behavior it was easy to see they were newbies looking to move up in the ranks of the cartel. Any seasoned cartel member would not be talking so obviously about simple drug deals. Nell moved slowly as she gathered the glasses, trying to find a reason to linger long enough. They started talking about some big secret meeting and when she heard Morales' name she froze. Nell mentally berated herself at the obvious tell and tried to play it off. One of the men was looking curiously at her, so Nell picked up the last empty glass and made her way down the stairs again.

As she left she overheard one of the drunker men talking loudly about the meeting with "the Russian" and she lingered just long enough to hear the location before moving on. Nell dumped the glasses in the kitchen and glanced at the clock. She was about three minutes away from taking off these hideous torture devices they called heels and soaking her feet in the tub. Nell grimaced and headed back out of the kitchen, towards the staff room. The hallway was oddly quiet and she barely had time to pay attention to the strange feeling she was starting to get when she saw one of the men she had served earlier leaning against a wall.

"Hey mami, where you going?"

Nell felt the nerves begin to thrum and decided to ignore him and keep walking. Her breath wooshed out as she was slammed hard against the wall.

"I was talking to you," the man said, and fear iced up her spine. His eyes were flat and cold, and she knew enough about the cartel to know even the lower level grunts were ruthless killers, often more than the higher level members, because they still had something to prove.

"Nell?" She could hear the worry in Eric's voice.

"Back off or I'll scream," Nell said, and she watched the man's eyes narrow as his hands clamped painfully on her arms. Her cover alias wasn't as well versed in self defense techniques as she was, so she kept up the helpless girl act, hoping the man would be satisfied that he'd intimidated her.

"Nell you good?" This time Callen's voice came over the com.

The man's eyes roved hungrily over her form and Nell felt her skin crawl

"I said back off," Nell said a little more forcefully, and she heard the slam of a car door.

"I'm going in," Callen said, and Nell shoved the man away, hoping to still salvage her cover. His eyes darkened in anger and he struck her hard enough that she saw stars. Knowing he overpowered her she ducked when he lunged and rolled to the side, grabbing for the knife. He was stronger and faster, and he had her hauled back up to her feet in seconds.

"I'm going to teach you to respect a man when he talks to you," he said, his voice threateningly low. Nell kicked out, and then dropped to the ground as Callen yanked the man back and slammed him against the wall. There was a shuffle and then Callen was dragging the man outside and depositing him by the dumpster.

Nell stood shakily to her feet and tried to keep her composure but she could feel herself trembling as Callen came back in.

"Are you okay?" His brow creased in worry as he looked her over.

"Yeah." It was all she could say without her voice shaking.

"We'll send LAPD to pick him up for a drunk and disorderly, he's also got about three ounces of coke on him, enough to get him locked up for a while."  
Callen gave her shoulder a reassuring pat.

"You handled it well, your cover is still secure."

Nell nodded and quickly retrieved her bag before following him to the car.

"Jessie!" The sound of her cover name startled her and she turned around to see one of the waitresses hurrying towards her.

"You forgot your tips," she said, and she eyed Callen curiously as she handed Nell the envelope. "Who's this?" she asked, smiling up at Callen.

"Ah, this is my friend Tim, he's giving me a ride."

"Oh," the pretty blonde smiled at Callen who reached out to shake her hand. "I'm Danielle, you should come in sometime for a drink, on the house." She winked at him and sauntered back into the club.

Nell turned to see Callen looking appreciatively after her.

"She seems nice," he said with a lopsided grin.

Nell started to roll her eyes but suddenly remembered the location she'd scribbled onto the edge of her order pad.

She grabbed Callen's arm to stop him.

"I think I have a possible meeting time with Sidorov."

Callen's eyes widened and he grabbed the paper she gave him.

"Eric, I need surveillance set up at Old Willow park as soon as possible. How many of those long range cameras do we have?"

"Uh, we have three, possibly four." His voice sounded odd.

"Great, Nell and I can set them up tonight."

"I'm coming with you." Eric said, and Nell bit her lip nervously at his tone.

"It's fine, Nell can help me set them up." Callen said distractedly.

"They're my cameras, I'm coming with you, they're very sensitive."

Callen raised an eyebrow at the note of anger in Eric's voice.

"Okay, fine, just get the camera's ready by the time we get there."

* * *

Eric snatched up the camera testily and fiddled with the signal booster. He rarely had the nerve to snap at anyone, much less Callen, but this was Nell. He felt his face grow warm with anger. Nell whose cry of pain he'd heard when that scummy guy put his hands on her. His imagination was running rampant with only the sounds he'd heard over the earwig narrating the incident. He'd already shuffled the information of one Alberto Vieja, and maybe he'd even accidentally alerted immigration to the fact that Alberto's workers visa had expired last year. The distorted personal information would keep Alberto in the system long enough for immigration to get a hold of him and deport him.

Eric glared darkly at the screen. If Hetty ever found out he'd hacked a government system for personal gain she would have his head. But this was Nell, and the feelings he had for Nell made him act without thinking. Which was weird for him, because he thought everything through, multiple times, from different perspectives. It's what made him so good at what he did. With Nell, his thoughts had one focus. Keep her safe, and keep her happy.

He heard voices coming up the stairs and he gathered his camera's in a bag, ready to move. He saw only Nell as she and Callen came into the room. There was a cut on her temple and already he could see a bruise starting to form. He didn't think he would be able to speak to her without yelling and that was the last thing she needed so he swallowed hard and looked at Callen.

"Are we ready to go?" He asked tightly.

Callen looked curiously at Eric and then his gaze slid to Nell.

"Yup, ready when you are."

"Awesome." Eric said and grabbed the bag.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Nell asked and Callen took the bag of camera's from Eric.

"I'll be downstairs," he said.

"I'm fine," Nell said when Callen left.

Eric didn't reply as he searched through the closet for the first aid kit.

"You have to stop acting like this every time I go out in the field." Nell said, and he could see she was slightly irritated with him.

He pulled a disinfectant wipe from the kit and gently cupped her face before pressing it to the cut. She winced.

"Sorry," he said quietly.

"Eric," she said

"I try to be reasonable and act rational but if you're in danger it just brings out this crazy side of me."

Nell looked up at him for a long moment before she stood on her tip toes and pressed a light kiss to his lips.

"I was scared." She said.

His blood was thundering in his ears and he could feel a flush creeping up his neck.

"So was I."

She smiled up at him and he relaxed

"Let's go set up some cameras."

* * *

"The first step to a successful dance partnership is chemistry."

Alana Crane lifted Kensi's hand and placed it into his.

"You have to be aware of your partner, so you can move together in unison."

Kensi's back was ramrod straight and she looked past him irritably. The lesson was not going well. Deeks wasn't exactly picking up the moves, and while he would never admit it to Kensi, he really was a terrible dancer. She seemed to pick the moves up effortlessly while he struggled with the most basic of steps. It didn't help that there was an underlying tension that could strike up at any time. One moment they would be getting along and the next they were snapping at each other.

"Lift her hand, draw a J. Okay now step towards her, and move into the turn." Alana walked behind them, guiding them as they stumbled awkwardly across the floor.

"Keep your hips moving Agent Blye."

Kensi let out a low growl of frustration and he wisely kept his amused chuckle to himself.

"One two three, step! Step in, step back, it's a tease, not a march. Now swing her out, back up for her to move through."

Deeks fumbled the step and Kensi smacked into him as he spun her back.

"Sorry," he held up his hands in surrender as she glared at him.

"Okay, I think the problem here is you're too focused on the technical aspects of the dance. Remember it's social dancing, you can let loose. It's about passion, the love of the music and the movement. You can learn all the steps in the world, but until you feel the music, you're going to look stiff as a board."

Alana gestured for them to get into position again.

"I'm going to teach you a simple move, that when done right, can look very complex."

Alana guided them through a switching of arms that went into a turn and ended up with Kensi snugged up against him before he bent her into a dip.

Deeks clenched his jaw and tried not to look at the way the tights hugged her legs, or the way shirt rode up to expose a thin line of tanned skin. Trying to keep his distance was proving harder with each passing moment.

There was a loud buzzing and Alana jumped to pick up her phone.

"Oh excuse me I have to take this. Keep going, I'll be back in a moment."

Deeks watched her go and let out a slow breath.

"Okay, so do we start out with your arm over or under?" Deeks asked, hoping to delay any more close dancing for the moment.

"Under," Kensi said and moved into his arms.

"Um what? Maybe we should go over it one more time just to really get it in there."

"I learn by doing," Kensi said, and stepped towards him. He faltered for a moment.

"Step back," she said.

"Good, now arms over, under, across, and over." Kensi guided him through the steps and for a brief moment they were actually dancing. She spun out and he dipped her, bringing her up so she was tight against him. Every thought drained from his brain and all he could concentrate on was the feel of her against him. Kensi's lips parted and his gaze dropped to her mouth.

Dammit he really needed to stop doing that. Her eyes met his and he sensed her confusion so he stepped back.

"That was good, I think we got that part down."

The door swung open and Alana returned with Hetty in tow.

"Miss Blye, a moment of your time." Hetty said from the doorway.

"Thank God," Kensi muttered

"I apologize for interrupting, this will only be a moment."

Deeks watched as Kensi kicked off her heels and padded after Hetty.

"Very well Detective Deeks, let's continue."

Alana turned on the music and stepped into his arms.

"Relax," she instructed, squeezing his arm until he forced himself to release the tension.

"Good, now let's start with the simple three step."

Deeks followed her movements, watching her feet.

"Try to look up, feel the music. Don't think so hard."

They moved smoothly across the floor and Deeks began to relax.

"Very nice," Alana said, smiling when he spun her out for a turn.

"All I need now is a rose between my teeth."

"That's the tango, and that's only in the movies."

"Right, well, that's why we have you." Deeks said

"Yes it is," Alana replied. "I think we're done here today, meet me an hour earlier tomorrow, I think with a little extra practice you'll be a regular Patrick Swayze."

Deeks chuckled. "That's being generous."

Alana gave him a sly smile. "I like to encourage my students."

* * *

Kensi walked aimlessly around Hetty's office space, fingering the different objects Hetty had collected over the years. She turned her attention to the fish tank Deeks had bought and frowned at her angel fish. It was swimming eagerly after the goldfish. Kensi bent down and tapped lightly on the glass. The fish didn't seem too bothered. She scoffed and watched as the goldfish swam across the tank and the angel fish followed. Kensi tapped the glass a little harder.

"Hey, stop that, you're going to give him a big ego."

"Talking to the fish Miss Blye?"

Kensi jumped and turned to face Hetty.

"I was just thinking out loud."  
Hetty made her way slowly over to the tank and looked at the fish swimming in the tank. The angel fish remained stubbornly by the goldfish's side and Kensi wrinkled her nose in disgust. Stupid fish.

"It's so uncanny how well Mr. Deeks matched the fish to their human counterparts isn't it?"

"Hmm, I think he got my fish wrong, it's obsessed with his fish."

Hetty chuckled and patted her lightly on the shoulder.

"Perhaps."

"What did you want to see me about?" Kensi asked.

Hetty settled behind her desk and poured herself a cup of tea. She gestured to a second cup.

"No thanks," Kensi said, sitting down. She waited patiently for Hetty to speak, knowing she would get to it eventually.

"Our operation will bring us into close contact with Sidorov."

"Yes?"

"I need you to keep an eye on Mr. Deeks."

Kensi drew back in shock.

"What?"

"I fear there may be some unresolved emotions and repercussions that aren't being dealt with. There is a chance that the mission may be compromised if Mr. Deeks confronts Sidorov."

"Deeks would never risk a mission that way, no matter what Sidorov did to him." Kensi said angrily, staring at Hetty in disbelief.

Hetty's face gentled.

"Mr. Deeks is an excellent operative Miss Blye, but when someone goes through something like he went through it changes you."

"So you think he's going to go off the grid and kill Sidorov? To exact revenge? Deeks wouldn't do that."

"I know it would not be his intent, but there is always the risk. I need to know you will be there to protect the mission."

"Because it's just about the mission isn't it?"

As soon as the words left her mouth Kensi regretted them. She saw the flash of hurt in Hetty's eyes and a greasy ball of guilt lodged in her throat. Kensi rubbed a hand hard over her face and looked at Hetty again.

"I'm sorry, that was out of line. I just don't get why you think Deeks would go rogue."

Hetty nodded and reached out to touch Kensi's hand.

"The chance of Mr. Deeks going off mission in an act of revenge is extremely small, but in my many years spent as an operative I have learned to be prepared for every possible outcome."

Kensi nodded and stared sadly at the table.

"He's still struggling isn't he? I mean he pretends to be okay, but he isn't is he?"

Hetty didn't answer, but her gaze told Kensi everything.

"Miss Blye, I wouldn't ask this of you if I wasn't certain that if such an event were to occur, you would be the one person he would listen to."

* * *

Sidorov hovered over him with a malicious grin.

"Come on, do you really think you're strong enough to save them? You're weak, pathetic." His face morphed into a much more familiar one, Gordon Brandel leered down at him.

"Why are you crying you worthless little shit."

Deeks tried to move but he'd been paralyzed. The man before him wavered and once again Sidorov was before him. A woman in red had her back to him and the form was so achingly familiar that when she turned he was hardly surprised to see Kensi staring back at him. Her face was filled with disgust.

"They told me everything. How do you even live with yourself?" She asked, shaking her head.

Sidorov laughed as Kensi left and Deeks called after her.

"How pathetic, you think she will ever love you back? After everything you've done?"

There was the sharp whir of an electric drill and Deeks screamed.

Something wet moved in his palm and Deeks jumped up in horror only to find himself tangled in sheets and soaked in sweat. Monty lay beside him, letting out a low whine and nosing into his palm again. Deeks patted his chest and the dog crawled up to him, laying his head on his shoulder. He clutched onto Monty's rough fur and waited for the racing of his heart to slow.

"Hey Monty, good dog, good boy. I'm gonna get you a bone, a big one, wrapped in bacon." Monty licked his face and wriggled in anticipation. "Yeah you'd like that huh? Good dog." Deeks closed his eyes, and grimaced as Monty began to lick his ear in earnest. It was one of those weird little habits of his and Deeks shoved him down out of reach of his ear.

"That wasn't a proposition buddy, we talked about the ear licking, it's weird and it makes people feel uncomfortable."

Monty crawled slowly up again and strained towards his ear.

"No means no," Deeks said, putting a pillow between his ear and the dog.

* * *

Sam grunted as he finished his last set of pushups and rolled onto his back. Michelle was standing in the doorway and she smiled sleepily at him over her cup of coffee.

"Looking good cowboy."

He smiled up at her.

"Yeah? Why don't you come over here?" Sam said as he got up off the floor.

Michelle's gaze warmed, and then frosted when he took the cup of coffee from her hands.

"Hmmm, exactly what I want to see first thing in the morning," Sam said, taking a long sip of the coffee. "But you're good too babe."

Michelle pinched him hard in the side and he spilled hot coffee on his hand.

"Ow, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Geeze woman."

She laughed and plucked her coffee from his hand before kissing him hard on the mouth.

"How many times have I told you not to touch my coffee."

Sam shrugged and reached for it again but she moved away.

"Get your own, there's some in the pot."

"I'm not done with my work-out yet." He said, snatching the cup from her hand and grabbing her in a smoldering kiss.

"The kids will be up soon." Michelle said, but her eyes were already fluttering closed.

"Then we better hurry," Sam said, scooping her up and racing to the bedroom. She muffled her laughter as they scurried past the kids room and she'd already managed to get his shirt off by the time he tossed her onto the bed. He lowered himself over her and for a moment he pressed his forehead to hers, just breathing in her scent.

"Hey, what is it?" Michelle asked.

"Dreamt I lost you." Sam said, the horrible dream replaying through his head. His heart started to race as images of Sidorov and Michelle's lifeless body filled his mind again and he shifted so he lay beside her, desire replaced by anxiety.

"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." Michelle said, framing his face with her hands. She kissed him softly, slowly, and he felt himself shifting back to center.

* * *

Callen watched the screen where Eric had pulled up a live feed of the park where they had placed the small surveillance cameras. It was empty except for a couple sitting on a bench at the far edge of the park.

"Nell, are you sure you got the right time."

She gave him a look and he shrugged.

"Sorry I asked."

"They could have changed it again, we know Sidorov is paranoid, and he's got to be especially paranoid now." Sam said.

Callen frowned at the screen.

"Yeah, that would put us right back at the beginning wouldn't it?"

Suddenly Sam squinted and moved forward. "That's Mikhael Andros," he said, pointing to a lone figure at the corner of the screen. He scoffed.

"Should have known that bastard Sidorov would be too much of a coward to show."

The team watched in silence as Mikhael walked slowly around the park. It was with a pure stroke of luck that he stood under a tree right where one of the camera's was planted when one of Morales' men approached him.

Nell did a screen capture and ran the man's face through a facial recognition software off to the side.

The men spoke for a moment and though the sound was faint they could make out what they were saying.

"Lovely day for a stroll isn't it."

"Yeah." Morales' man dug into his pocket and pulled out a flyer.

"You looking for a good place to get a drink, dance with a beautiful woman, you come here, ten PM."

Mikhael nodded and Eric grabbed a screenshot of the flyer, zooming in on it as the men parted ways.

"Latin Tuesdays," Callen said.

"Called it!" Deeks said from the corner of the room. He nudged Kensi with his arm. "Didn't I tell you Kens, they were going to meet during a big event, like _Latin Tuesdays_" He enunciated the last two words and she rolled her eyes

Callen ignored him and walked up to the screen.

"We're going to have to be more aggressive . We need to infiltrate Los Zetas before Sidirov makes this trade."

"Internal Affairs is investigating one of Morales' LAPD contacts, so he's out of commision. I'll go in with some booger sugar stuck into the lining of my jacket, pick a fight with someone in the Cartel. They'll _accidentally_ see my badge and pin me as a crooked cop, Morales will intimidate me into helping him, bam, we have our in."

Callen tilted his head as he ran the scenario through his head.

"That, is actually a brilliant idea." He said.

"I don't know why you sound so surprised, I have brilliant ideas all the time." Deeks replied.

"I think you're getting the word brilliant confused with stupid again," Kensi said.

Callen held up a hand before they started up again.

"Don't you two have dance lessons to go to?"

"Ha ha ha." Kensi said sarcastically "and no, that's not until later this afternoon."

Callen smirked.

"Nell, still has her cover as the waitress, and I think I will take the lovely Danielle up on her offer of drinks."

* * *

"Everyone can dance, you just need to relax."

Deeks let out a slow breath and followed Alana's guidance, watching her feet.

"Feel the music, don't let your mind get in the way. Let your body move like it wants to." She let him spin her out in a turn.

"Very nice, now look at me."

Deeks met her gaze and was surprised at the little jolt of energy.

"Good," she said with a smile "work on this chemistry with your partner. I can see it's there, just under the surface."

"I think that's her anger you're sensing."

"Oh there's that too, but there's passion, longing." She hooked a leg around his waist, let him dip her. "I never understood why two people who want each other would deny themselves."

Deeks tensed up again and she squeezed his shoulder.

"Relax, we won't talk about your partner anymore." She yanked him closer, slid a hand behind his neck.

"It's easy to fake intimacy with dance. Keep your bodies close, your gaze intense, you can fool anyone." She smiled and her tongue darted out to wet her bottom lip. He felt suddenly uncomfortably attracted to her and cleared his throat.

"Uh,"

Alana smiled, ran a hand through his hair.

"That's a start, now try to look a little less stunned."

"I'm sorry, did you want me to come back?"  
Deeks head shot up and he met Kensi's furious gaze.

Alana slid casually from his arms and gave him a knowing smile before turning to Kensi.

"Are we ready to start?"

* * *

Kensi bit back on the urge to strangle the dance instructor and instead stepped up to Deeks, refusing to meet his eyes.

It was obvious she'd walked in on them having a moment, and the surge of possessiveness had her blood boiling.

"Why don't we start with what we learned yesterday." Alana walked to the stereo.

Kensi stood where she was and Deeks came to her, settling his hand right above her waist and taking her other hand in his.

The music started and he stepped back, causing her to stumble a bit in the heels and his grip on her tightened as he held her up. Kensi stared stonily ahead and visualized the steps in her head, growling in frustration when Deeks stepped on her foot.

"I'm going to have to wear steel toed boots to the club if you keep doing that."

"You're leading," Deeks said.

"Because you're doing it wrong" Kensi bit out, pushing Deeks to the left.

"The man leads, the woman follows, that's how it works!"

"Well if the man is an idiot-"

"Okay, let's start over." Alana stepped between them and took Deeks hand.

"To make a partnership work, you need to balance out each other's strengths and weaknesses." She gestured to Kensi "Your strength is in picking up the dance, it comes naturally to you. You can branch out, get creative." She turned back to Deeks. "His strength, is intuition. If you let him lead you, he can support your movement, steady you." Alana allowed Deeks to turn her, and they moved fluidly across the floor and Kensi had to admit that he didn't look half bad.

"Okay, now you try." Alana took Kensi's hand and put it in Deeks'.

"Trust your partner to support you in the dance." She said to them and Kensi reluctantly met Deeks' eyes. He looked at her in a way that made her want to squirm uncomfortably but she held his gaze, almost stumbling again when he suddenly stepped back, pulling her with him.

Kensi relaxed in his hold and allowed him to lead her in the simple three step. She blinked in surprise when he turned her and caught her again smoothly. He smiled slightly, and she felt her own lips curve.

"Good," Alana said softly.

Kensi stepped back and allowed Deeks to turn her again and this time he pushed her into a dip that made her stomach drop it was so fast. He pulled her up slowly. They were close and she felt that familiar rise of heat and tension again. His arm came around her waist as he pulled her tight to his chest, and then spun her out so fast she lost her breath.

"Wonderful! Much better!" Alana exclaimed and Kensi tore her gaze from Deeks'. She'd forgotten they weren't the only ones in the room.

"That's good enough for today," She laid a hand on Deeks' arm and squeezed. "I'll see you at lunch tomorrow."

Kensi felt the tension return again in one fell swoop and she kicked off the heels before grabbing her bag. She tried to ignore the hurt that was slicing into her chest as she stalked out of the gym.

"Kens, wait up!"

Kensi ignored him and kept walking.

"Hey, Kens!" Deeks laid a hand on her arm and she whirled around angrily.

"What?" she demanded.

"I'm meeting with Alana for extra practice, that's it.

She felt a quick tug of embarrassment that her jealousy was so obvious and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't care what you do with her." Kensi said nonchalantly, hefting her bag more securely onto her shoulder.

"Well I care," Deeks said.

Kensi raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"I mean, I care what you think, because," he stopped, at a loss for words. "Look, I don't want you to think I am interested in someone, when I'm not." He finished lamely.

"Why does it matter to you if I think you're interested in someone?" She challenged.

He said nothing, just shifted uncomfortably as he stared at her.

"Goodnight Deeks,"

* * *

**Up Next: Lots more undercover fun, and the team will be closer than ever to finding those nukes. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A new opportunity at work has kept me incredibly busy, and having horrible writers block wasn't helping. Thank you to all of you for encouraging me to continue, I would have given up without you guys! **

**A/N: I rewrote the end of chapter six because the more I reread it the more I realized it was just a little overdramatic and the fight between Kensi and Deeks seemed petty. I put the changes at the beginning of this chapter in Italics.**

* * *

_Kensi felt the tension return again in one fell swoop and she grabbed her bag and walked stiffly out the door, trying to ignore the hurt that was slicing into her chest. Apparently he moved on quite easily. _

_"Kens, wait up!"_

_Kensi ignored him and kept walking._

_"Hey, Kens!" Deeks laid a hand on her arm and she whirled around angrily._

_"What?" she demanded._

"_I'm meeting with Alana for extra practice, that's it." _

_She felt a quick tug of embarrassment that her jealousy was so obvious and she shrugged her shoulders. _

"_I don't care what you do with her." Kensi said nonchalantly, hefting her bag more securely onto her shoulder. _

"_Well I care," Deeks said. _

_Kensi raised a questioning eyebrow at him. _

"_I mean, I care what you think, because," he stopped, at a loss for words. "Look, I don't want you to think I am interested in someone, when I'm not." He finished lamely. _

_"Why does it matter to you if I think you're interested in someone?" She challenged. _

_He said nothing, just shifted uncomfortably as he stared at her. _

_"Goodnight Deeks,"_

* * *

Callen leaned against the bar, sipping on the drink Danielle, the friendly waitress from the other night, had served him. She caught his eye every now and then from across the room and he found he actually enjoyed the flirtation. The temptation to let his eyes linger on her was strong, but he was on the clock, and flirting would have to wait.

Kensi was on the dance floor, switching randomly between partners, all the while subtly glancing towards the table where a few cartel members sat. It was still about half an hour before the planned meet with Sidorov, but they were hoping to get Kensi in close before the meet so they could plant the bug.

One of the cartel members was eyeing Kensi appreciatively and Callen smiled as the man walked up to her and pulled her into a dance. His steps were complicated and Kensi's limited training had her fumbling more than a few moves. She played it off by leaning heavily on him, giggling about how drunk she was.

He introduced himself as Antonio and invited her up to his table. She pretended to be impressed by the fact that he had a table in the VIP section and sat in his lap, subtly placing a bug under his chair as she leaned closer to whisper in his ear. There was a crackle in Callen's ear as the bug activated and he could hear snippets of conversation in Spanish from the others. He assumed the glass surrounding the small VIP section was soundproof, and his suspicions were confirmed when one of the cartel members got up and closed the door. The music in the club made it hard for him to hear so he casually looked down to hide his face and spoke into the com.

* * *

"You guys getting any of that?"

"Yeah, they're not saying much with Kensi in there," Sam answered, staring at the doors of the club.

Deeks shifted in his seat, stretching out his legs and muttering when he hit his knee on the dashboard.

"Would you stop squirming, you haven't sat still for more than five minutes." Sam said irritably as he looked over at Deeks who sat uncomfortably in the passenger's seat.

"My butt's going numb." Deeks complained, shifting again.

Sam sighed in frustration and stared at the club doors, willing Sidorov to appear. He only had a week left of light duty but he felt like one more day was going to send him off the deep end. His lungs were fully healed, and he was back up to a 6 minute mile, although he did have a considerably harder time than he used to.

Sam listened intently to the conversation between the cartel members. They spoke rapid Spanish and he was having a hard time keeping up. Suddenly there was a loud blast of music and then once again the muffled thump of rhythmic Salsa.

"Okay Miguel just sent me out and told me to wait for him at the bar. Still no sign of Sidorov." Kensi's voice came over the com.

"Deeks you're up." Callen said.

"Finally," Deeks sighed and got out of the car, stretching dramatically.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit," He jumped back in the car, sinking down in his seat.

"What?" Sam asked, turning to look behind him.

"No!" Deeks hissed, yanking Sam down.

"What the hell is wro-" His words caught in his throat as Deeks grabbed his face and pressed his lips to his.

Time ticked by slowly as he sat in utter astonishment, staring into Deeks eyes, uncomfortably close to his. There was a prickle of stubble against his chin and his brain caught up to his body. Sam wrapped a hand around Deeks' neck and shoved him away. It took everything in his power not to squeeze his fingers tighter.

Deeks gasped for air and made a sign like he was tapping out.

Sam glared at him but released him.

"Did you just use the Vulcan grip on me?" Deeks was massaging his neck while Sam vigorously rubbed at his mouth.

"You have about five seconds to explain why you put those fish lips on mine before I make you wish you hadn't gotten out of bed this morning." Sam growled, cracking his knuckles

"What?!" Kensi and Callen simultaneously burst out over the coms.

"I was trying to maintain our cover!" Deeks said, wincing as Sam glowered at him.

There was the sound of muffled snorting.

"What the hell kind of cover are we maintaining?" Sam asked dangerously.

Deeks reached towards him and Sam grabbed his hand, bending it back without mercy.

"Oww, ow, Russians, Russians!" Deeks yelped, bobbing his head towards the club.

He turned his head to see the familiar form of Michael Zhrof and a few of Sidorov's men chatting with the bouncer.

"I think you're breaking my hand."

Sam released his hand and settled a little lower in the car.

"I'm getting a restraining order."

"I always knew he had a crush on you." Callen's voice was shaking with restrained laughter.

Sam sat silently fuming.

* * *

Deeks resisted the urge to squirm in the uncomfortably tense silence. He was afraid anything else would set Sam off. It wasn't like he enjoyed kissing a dude either, but the only thing that had come to mind when Sam had almost been seen by the Russians was a cover kiss. He blamed Kensi.

The group led by Zhrof entered the club and Deeks slipped out of the car, massaging his neck as he jogged across the busy street. He pulled out his wallet to pay the cover fee and made sure that his LAPD badge poked out of his pocket just enough to catch the bouncer's eye.

It was almost funny how quickly his eyes found Kensi's from across the room. She wore figure-hugging red and a coy smile. He found himself unable to stop the lazy grin that grew on his face as he crossed the room to her.

"Are you a parking ticket?" he waited a beat "Because you've got fine written all over you."

"Oh my God did you just,"

"Yup."

Her lips pressed into a thin line before she succumbed to the smile.

"That was horrible."

Deeks chuckled before tangling his fingers easily with hers. For just a moment his brain betrayed him and filled his mind with what ifs. He realized he was staring at her.

"So, you come here often?"

"Okay stop."

"We both know I won't."

Kensi gave him a long look.

"I can see you're charmed by my classic good looks and razor sharp wit, so why don't we put our dance classes to good work and piss off the mark?"

She slid off the barstool and he led her to the dance floor. The upbeat song blasting on the speakers almost immediately faded into a slower sensual song. _Fantastic_. He tried to act nonchalant as she slid into his arms. Her scent wrapped around him, brazen as a lover.

"Zhrof and his men are leaving," Kensi said, sliding her hands into his hair to turn his face, hiding it in case Zhrof looked their way. "They're carrying a briefcase."

Deeks could feel himself tense as her body brushed against his. Blood thundered in his ears and he could barely make out the sound of Callen's voice instructing Nell to stick a small tracker onto the briefcase as they walked past her.

"Looks like we have Antonio's attention, he does not look happy." Kensi said. Her mouth was close to his ear and her breath fluttered across the sensitive skin on his neck. They were working, this was an act, he had no reason to be aroused.

Her leg came up to wrap around his waist and she leaned back so he could lower her in a long sensual dip that had her hair just brushing the floor. Twin spots of color bloomed on her cheeks as he pulled her back up. Her eyes were locked onto his and he swore all the sound was sucked out of the room. There was a hint of challenge in her expression as she toyed idly with the ends of his hair. He should step back, accept defeat and stay safely behind the line. The reckless side of him refused to listen to reason. Deeks skimmed his hands up her sides and yanked her flush against him. Her lips parted slightly and he felt his gaze drop to her mouth. It took every ounce of control not to press his lips to hers.

"Behind you," Kensi mouthed, and he had only a moment to understand what she meant when he felt himself being yanked back. He let Antonio land the first blow, before dodging his punch and knocking him to the ground.

"And that my friend, is the Peruvian Necktie." Deeks said, gloating down at Antonio before he was strong-armed from the building by two ridiculously huge bouncers. He could hear Kensi putting up a fuss behind him and he yelled drunkenly as he was dragged outside.

"Hey, hey! What the hell is your problem!"

He was ignored and dumped unceremoniously on the sidewalk.

"C'mere," he gestured to the bouncer closest to him. Meathead number one glanced at his partner and walked over to Deeks.

"What."

"You know steroids affects the size of your package right?"

"The hell did you say to me?"

"I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon. Steroids make your di-"

He grunted as a huge fist slammed into his abdomen and he tumbled to the ground. He heard Kensi's fake shriek and then she was by his side.

"Is this really the time for The Princess Bride quotes," she hissed in his ear.

"It's always a good time," he wheezed

"God you're and idiot." She said, slipping her hand into his pocket to grab his badge.

"Woah, do I get dinner first?"

"Shut up," she snapped, subtly setting the badge on the floor, as if it had slipped out of his pocket.

He chuckled as she helped him to his feet. The bouncer's eyes slid to the badge and back to Deeks before he spoke into the walkie talkie.

Deeks leaned heavily on Kensi, stalling their progress. There was a shuffle and Antonio burst through the door waving a gun, yelling angrily.

Deeks grabbed the gun tucked into his waistband and stepped in front of Kensi, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes when she just moved back to stand beside him. She slipped her hand into the small purse she carried, her body tense with anticipation. There was a thrumming moment of tension as he stared down the barrel of the gun, trying to figure out the best way to get them out of their current predicament. It would have been really great if just for once, a mission actually went the way it was supposed to.

A man in an expensive cut suit walked out and Deeks immediately recognized him as Miguel Morales.

"Why don't we all just calm down?" he said, gesturing for Antonio to lower his gun. The tension was thick as Deeks and Antonio stared each other down. Finally, Antonio lowered his gun and Deeks did the same, keeping his finger hovering over the trigger. Miguel was looking at curiously at him.

"It is an honor, to have one of L.A's finest visiting my club."

Deeks pretended to look confused.

"You dropped your badge," Miguel said, gesturing to the badge on the floor.

"Don't suppose I have to tell you that killing an officer of the law can get you a hefty jail sentence."

"I do not respond well to threats," Miguel said mildly.

"It's not a threat so much as it's a fact."  
"Quiet!" Miguel snapped, and for a moment there was a hint of the homicidal murderer before he slipped back into his cool demeanor.

"Hand over your weapon."

"Yeah I don't think that puts me in the best position."

"Do what I say or I shoot your girl." He said calmly.

Deeks grit his teeth and handed over his gun praying that Kensi's trembling helpless female act would keep them from viewing her as too much of a threat.

"Search him," Miguel ordered.

He was jerked forward roughly and searched. Meathead number two held up the small bag of cocaine he had stuffed in his back pocket.

"Interesting, I didn't know that American officers were above the law." Miguel said smoothly, opening the bag and dipping in his pinky to taste the drug.

"I was holding it for a friend." Deeks said dryly.

"Funny guy," Miguel said, handing the bag over to Antonio.

"I have a proposition for you."

"Thanks but I'm not into dudes."

Miguel's face tightened in anger and he could practically feel Kensi's glare boring into the back of his head.

It was risky to play the flippant card, but he had a gut feeling and he decided to go with it.

"Your agency has over five million dollars worth of my merchandise, just locked up in a garage collecting dust. I would really appreciate it if someone could get that back to me. I compensate my employees very well."

"I prefer to be self-employed." Deeks replied lazily.

"It wasn't a question. Do this, or you and the girl get chopped up and sold off for parts."

Deeks pretended to size up the bouncers.

"All right, I'll bite, how much compensation are we talking?"

"Not tonight, meet me back here tomorrow at noon, we'll discuss it then and since I'm feeling generous I'll let you keep the girl, but don't try my patience again" Miguel nodded to the bouncer who handed Deeks back his gun.

They watched as Miguel and his entourage slipped back into the club. Kensi turned to him, false tears brimming at her eyes.

"You almost got us killed you asshole!" She stalked off and he grabbed her arm.

"Come on baby! It's just a little bit of business. Look, when all this is over I'll take you to Hawaii, we'll stay in the Hyatt, can't do something like that on a cops salary."

"I don't want to be around all these guns, and you promised me you would stop carrying that thing everywhere."

"Okay, okay. I'll leave the gun at home next time. Now can we get out of here?"

"Don't think you're getting lucky tonight," she said petulantly.

"Oh I wouldn't dream of it baby girl," Deeks said with a grin.

* * *

Kensi slipped into the passenger seat as Deeks got in behind the wheel. Nothing about this cover irritated her more than the fact that Deeks got to drive her car.

"You put a scratch on my car and I'll kick your ass." She threatened as he turned the key in the ignition.

"Don't worry princess, I'll drive her like she's my own."

"Yeah that's what worries me, and stop with the nicknames."

"I thought you liked them."

Kensi sighed irritably and he leaned back and chuckled. She turned her head to stare out the window so he wouldn't see her smile. There was a little glow inside of her as they drove to the mission in easy silence, taking one of the alternate routes. All the tension and awkwardness of the past two months was slowly slipping away, replaced by the ease of their partnership. Nothing like a good old fashioned standoff to clear the air, she thought.

There was the flash of lights in the passenger side mirror as they turned and she saw the same black car that had been behind them since they'd left the club.

"We've got a tail," Kensi said.

"Yep,"

Deeks changed lanes and she watched the car behind them follow suit, staying two cars back.

"Got a plan B?"

"We could pull over on the side of the road and make out for a while."

"Don't you think Sam will get jealous."

Deeks snorted out a laugh,

"Touché."

Kensi leaned back in her seat with a grin.

"Hetty set up a safe house for me, just in case." Deeks turned to her with a wolfish grin. "Looks like I'm getting lucky after all."

"Mmmm, actually I think you're sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Oh come on that's cold, that bouncer was huge, I feel like I got hit with a bag of rocks."  
"Aww, the poor little corrupt cop can't take a few punches?" Kensi asked sweetly, running a hand down his arm.

"I think Isabella would be a little more sympathetic."

"I thought Andrew was tougher than that."

"He's a sensitive soul." Deeks said as they pulled into the driveway of a small house.

He got out and moved around the car, catching the door just as she was about to step out of the car.

"I'm supposed to open the door for you, remember?"

"Isn't that a little old fashioned?"

"Chivalry never goes out of style."

Kensi snorted and rolled her eyes.

He slid an arm around her waist and she leaned into him, dropping her head onto his shoulder as they walked to the front door. He pulled a key out of his pocket and she turned so that she was flush against him and glanced surreptitiously around for any sign of the car that followed them. She spotted them two houses down and there was the glint of moonlight on what she assumed was a pair of binoculars.

"Cars' parked just down the street." She said, pressing her lips to the side of his neck. She felt him go rigid and he cleared his throat.

"Great, okay, let me just ah." Kensi shifted and took the key he was struggling to get into the keyhole, unlocking the door easily.

"Problem?" She asked sweetly.

He ignored her and stepped past her into the house, flipping on the lights.

"Well, I guess this will have to do for tonight, you can borrow one of my t-shirts, just give it back this time."

Kensi rolled her eyes at him and walked into the house.

"Nice, I hope Hetty stocked the fridge." She said, moving towards the kitchen. She opened the freezer to find a few bags of frozen vegetables and some chicken breasts. The fridge didn't hold many more appetizing options.

"There's no food in here." She complained.

He glanced into the freezer and scoffed. "There's plenty of food, besides I don't eat those frozen disks you call Pizza."

"That's because you have no taste."

"Yeah, don't worry Fern, I'll make you breakfast."

Kensi snorted and turned to face him. The retort died on her tongue. His cheekbone was already starting to bruise and there was a small cut that was bleeding slightly. The memory of how he looked when she pulled him out of the car in the desert made her eyes sting and she turned to the freezer and grabbed a bag of frozen corn.

She pressed the bag gently to his cheek, suddenly feeling irritated with him.

"You didn't have to piss off the bouncers you know, you're lucky all you walked away with was a few bruises."

Deeks placed his hand over hers on the frozen bag.

"If I made it too easy, Morales would have suspected something."

"Your life isn't worth risking for some stupid mission."

"They've got nuclear weapons, I hardly think that qualifies as 'some stupid mission'," he said softly.

Kensi knew he was right, and in the grand scheme of things, locating the nukes was worth risking the life of a few to save the lives of many. It wasn't something she was unfamiliar with, it was just something she found harder to swallow now that she knew what it felt like to almost lose the most important person in her life.

"You act like it's so simple, but you aren't as expendable as you think. The team needs you, you know." She didn't verbalize the fact that she needed him too.

He was silent for a long time, staring at her so intently she should have been uncomfortable, but for once, she wasn't.

"I'm not planning on dying, Kens."

"Good," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. She pulled her hand out from under his and turned away.

"You can take the bed, you look beat." She said over her shoulder.

"Couch is fine."

"When was the last time you washed those sheets?"

"I haven't used this cover house in months."

"The question remains."

Deeks shrugged.

"Beats me, maybe Hetty gets a cleaning lady."

Kensi wrinkled her nose. "Yeah I'm not risking it, you can have the bed."

"Fine, your loss, but if you feel like snuggling you know where to find me."

* * *

Callen directed Sam to make the next turn as he watched the blinking red dot on the screen inch along the electronic map. The tracker on the briefcase allowed them to stay far enough away without being spotted by Zhrof or his men. They were compromised and it would have been safer to have another team take over, but they were the best, so they remained on the case. Sam pulled into a storage lot across from the warehouse where two black sedan's were parked. There was little movement in the dark, save for one guard patrolling the perimeter of the warehouse.

"The bombs aren't here." Sam said, pulling out a pair of night vision binoculars.

"What makes you so sure?"

"Only one guard, wherever the nukes are, they're sure to be heavily guarded."

Callen nodded, he'd come to the same conclusion.

Suddenly there was a flurry of movement and a man was dragged out of the building by two other men, followed closely by a third, and then a fourth.

Callen pulled out his own pair of night vision binoculars and focused in on the scene unfolding across the storage yard. There was a sharp glint from the barrel of a gun, and Callen watched in horror as Sidorov calmly put a bullet in the man's brain.

He was barely able to grab Sam as he lurched out of the car. Callen yanked him back hard, praying the darkness would conceal them as he wrestled Sam back into the Charger.

"Keep it together!" He hissed, straining with the effort of keeping Sam inside the car.

Sam growled in frustration and shook him off. His breathing harsh in the quiet dark.

"I want to make him pay," he seethed, his fist clenched tightly.

"We will," Callen said, and he reached out a hand to grip Sam's arm. "I promise you, we will make them pay."

Sam stared stonily ahead.

"He'll get life in a mid security prison, live life comfortably on taxpayer money. What the hell kind of justice is that? He deserves a bullet to the head."

"We don't take justice into our own hands," Callen said carefully.

Sam turned to face him, his expression stormy.

"Why the hell not?" He asked, dark hatred burning in his eyes.

"Because you live by a moral code, one that will make you regret murder for the rest of your life."

"My wife and children will be in danger as long as that man lives. Being locked in a cell won't protect them."

"Do you need to step back from this case?" Callen asked, his expression challenging as Sam looked at him. It wasn't the question he wanted to ask, in fact, he had a hard time stopping himself from going after Sidorov, but it was the question he had to ask. Their partnership depended on the ability to stand strong when one partner couldn't.

"I will have no regrets about killing the man who tortured a member of our team in front of me, one who will have no problem murdering my family."

"I know you Sam, and you will, because killing him will haunt you. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve to die, to suffer ten times the amount he has made others suffer, but killing him out of revenge will follow you for the rest of your life."

Sam turned to face him, and he knew he'd gotten to him.

"How am I supposed to protect my family?"

"Hetty arranged for immediate transfer to ADMAX upon capture," Callen said,

"They're still taking inmates?" Sam asked, ADMAX was the highest security prison in the states, but there were limited cells and the overflow was usually sent to lesser security prisons.

"One of their inmates is being transferred to Colorado Pen for good behavior, Sidorov has a lifetime of solitary confinement ahead of him. A fate worse than death," Callen said grimly.

23 hours a day of solitary confinement slowly chipped at a man's sanity, until years of limited human contact and endless self-reflection could leave you a shell of a human being. Callen couldn't think of a better fate for Sidorov.

* * *

There was a slight disturbance in the air and Kensi opened her eyes, staring into the dark as she tried to figure out what woke her. The first thought that crossed her mind was that one of the cartel members was snooping around in the house, and she closed her hand around the gun under her pillow. Slowly, she got up and listened for the sound that woke her. There was the sound of muffled screaming and then a thump, coming from Deeks' room. Kensi turned on her heel and raced to the bedroom, throwing open the door with a bang, holding her gun out in front of her. He was twitching in his sleep, and she could see his hand gripping the sheets.

"Deeks," she said, setting her gun down on the dresser and touching his arm lightly. "Deeks wake up."

His eyes popped open and he stared at her wildly. He grabbed her roughly and his hand closed around her throat for a second before his eyes cleared and he was staring at her in horror.

"You were having a dream," Kensi said, watching him carefully.

"God, I'm sorry, I thought-" he looked at her, guilt etched into his face. "I thought you were someone else," his voice was rough.

"It doesn't matter," she was afraid to touch him, afraid he would push her away again.

"I don't have control, I feel like I'm losing myself." He said, rubbing his hand over his face.

She reached for him before she could change her mind and wrapped her arms around him. He stiffened for a long moment before he relaxed with a shudder and rested his head on her chest.

"What if I hurt you?"  
"You won't, I promise," Kensi said, leaning her head on his.

"What if I can never go back to normal?"

"You were never normal," she said dryly.

She felt him shaking with laughter and she smiled.

"Told you you would come in to cuddle with me."

"You know what, this cuddle session is over," Kensi said scooting off the bed. His arm snaked around her waist and she was yanked back onto the bed, snug against him.

"There are no take backs on cuddle sessions," Deeks murmured against her hair.

Kensi shifted so she lay more comfortably.

"Fine, one night."

* * *

The sun was shining when he woke, and Kensi lay against him, warm and soft. This time there was no lingering fear from a nightmare, and he felt more rested than he had in weeks. She shifted slightly and snored slightly, a tiny snorting sound that he found ridiculously adorable. Her hand was fisted in his shirt and he felt warmth ballooning in his chest as he looked down at her. It really wasn't fair that she looked so breathtakingly beautiful when she slept. She shifted again, her leg sliding along the inside of his thigh and he had to scoot back before he embarrassed himself. He tried moving his arm out from under her but she clung to him like a burr, pressing her face into his neck, causing his skin to heat. A muttered oath slipped from his lips.

Her breathing changed and he felt her shift again as she woke. Her eyes opened and he felt himself pulled towards her. Her lips parted slightly and he felt his gaze drop to her mouth. Her pulse beat wildly in the hollow of her throat and he pressed the pad of his thumb there before lowering his mouth to hers. Her hand slid over his chest and tangled in his hair, and she bit down lightly on his lower lip before sucking it into her mouth and hooking her leg around his waist, pressing herself against him. He groaned as his eyes practically crossed and he pulled back slightly to meet her eyes.

"We should stop."

"We should," Kensi murmured.

"We'll stop later," he decided

"Good plan," she said, yanking his mouth back down to hers. She tugged his shirt up and they both grunted as he wiggled out of it. He pulled her shirt off in one fluid motion and his fingers skimmed up her side as he reached for her bra.

She jerked and a breathless giggle escaped from her lips.

"Oh my god you're ticklish, that's adorable." He said, ignoring her warning eyebrow raise.

He dug his fingers into her ribs and tickled mercilessly while she threatened him with various creative situations.

"Deeks!" She shrieked, finally succeeding in flipping him over and pinning him down with her arm on his throat.

"Tickle me one more time and I will make you regret it." She hissed, her knee pressing down threateningly on his groin.

He held his hands up in surrender.

"No more tickling."

"Good," she lowered her head again and kissed him as he slid his hands up her back. She shuddered slightly and his fingers found the snap of her bra. He tried to unhook it and found there was a little velcro strap attached to the hook. He tugged it open and attempted to unhook it again, the bra didn't budge, he frowned and brought his other hand up to work the hook.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kensi said impatiently.

"I'm trying to unhook this thing, is there a combination lock on it?"  
"No it's just a bra, here let me."

"I've got it, could you just like turn around or something."

"Just let me,"

"I can do it okay, it's just you're wearing the world's most complicated bra so if you could give me a minute here."

Her hand slid dangerously up his thigh and he wiggled slightly.

"Alright, no groping, I can't concentrate."  
"Fine," Kensi said testily, crossing her arms and giving him a long look.

He stuck his tongue between his teeth and wiggled at the clasp.

"Are you sure thing isn't soldered on?"

"Oh for god's sake."

The bra snapped open.  
"Got it," Deeks said, yanking her against him and crushing his mouth to hers.

She sighed into his mouth, and froze when his phone rang. There was the quiet ringing of her phone in the background.

"Damn it," He muttered against her mouth. Kensi scooted off him and he had to stop himself from whimpering when she hooked her bra again.

"I've got first dibs on the shower." She said, scooping his shirt off the floor.

"Fine, but next time don't wear that damn bra."

"What makes you think there's going to be a next time?" Kensi asked silkily.

He lunged for her and yanked her into a smoldering kiss.

"There's gonna be a next time,"

"Fine, but I'm keeping this" she said, holding up his shirt.

"You can add it to your collection."

"Ugh, shut up."

"We should shower together, do our part to conserve water."

A slow smile crossed her face and she stepped towards him, running a hand over his chest.

"If you showered with me, we wouldn't be conserving water." She pressed a firm kiss to his mouth and closed the bathroom door in his face. He stared dumbly at the door and willed the blood to flow back to his brain.

* * *

**I'm going on vacation from the 3rd to the 11th, so next update will probably come a few days after that. Hope you all enjoyed chapter 7! This chapter was a little more Kensi/Deeks heavy, next chapter will feature the other team members more prominently. **


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